Before we get started, it's important to make one thing clear. Since this blog is a continuation of the book 101 Reasons To Leave New York, the entries featured in the initial post are actually reasons number 102, 103 and 104.
With that said, it's time for this blog to do what New York City requires us all to do: Deliver the goods, every time. No exceptions.
Let's begin.
105. Your New York Knickerbockers.
Living and dying eighty-two, or more, times per year for a team that hasn't won a championship in almost forty seasons and owns the league record for consecutive playoff
losses speaks to your love.
Your inability to utter a single negative word against them speaks to your complete lack
of objectivity.
A Knicks fan can, and likely will, be called a lot of things. But "fair-weather" will never
be among them. It's a faithfulness, willingness to endure, and uncompromising loyalty
most marriages will never know.
During their extended losing streaks, you say they're learning how to win. When they
make more headlines than clutch free throws, you think it's just a matter of time before
they figure it out. As they continue to demonstrate a lack of chemistry, you believe it's all
coming together.
Yes, your Knicks show flashes of brilliance. They even win a big game, or two. They have moments when they demonstrate the type of executional excellence that smacks of
championship quality.
But just as they seem ready to reach their full potential, they're eliminated from the playoffs, early, again. And you react with the type of shock and amazement that would indicate you never saw it coming. But surely you did.
Your eyes, sports radio and the box scores offer you everything you need to arrive at the only conclusion that makes logical sense. However, your heart won't allow you to accept or express the obvious, because saying your Knicks aren't good enough is like saying New York City isn't good enough.
And you would never say that, ever.
106. Girls. Girls? Girls!
Not women. Girls, the highly promoted, intensely criticized, instant cult classic, HBO original series that has everyone talking about sex, relationships, racial diversity and
everything else a thirty-minute, late-night sitcom shouldn't be held responsible for, but is.
It's not that you think the show, or the firestorm it has created, aren't worthy of conversation. It's that you don't have an opinion because you haven't seen a single episode. Furthermore, you don't plan to.
Perhaps you're too busy. Perhaps, as many New Yorkers are fond of saying, you don't watch television or even own one. Maybe you prefer to have your programming taste-tested by the masses before you'll sacrifice any of your precious free time to a television show.
Or, maybe you just think Girls sounds like a combination of things you've seen before.
You remember Friends, with its post-college 20-somethings being cut off financially by their parents, finding their own way, and Sex & the City, with its four, quick-witted girlfriends searching for love in all the wrong places. And like Girls, those shows also took place in a version of New York City that was noticeably lacking in diversity.
Whatever your reason may be for not watching, Girls is what everyone is talking about. So, you'll just have to be silent during that part of the conversation.
But, in New York City, silent is among the last things you should ever want to be.
107. Me. Me. Me. I. I. I.
There may be no "I" in team, but you can't spell New York City without one.
In order for you to become recognizable, relevant and respected here, you must be willing
to shout, "Hey, New York! Look at me!"
Every word you speak needs to build and advance the brand that is you. Not who you are
at this very moment, but who you want to be and who you want to be seen as.
You don't like that? Well, that's just too bad. It's what you signed up for the moment you
decided to make New York City your home.
Unrelenting, often shameless, self-promotion leads to greater exposure and increases the likelihood of achieving worldwide acclaim. If it feels unnatural at first, don't worry. You'll get better with practice. You'll have to.
New York isn't suited for those who quietly hope someone notices what they have to offer. And it isn't kind to those who patiently wait their turn. People who win here make themselves impossible to ignore and are more than willing to cut in line.
And if you don't like that, well, that's just too bad.
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101 Reasons To Leave New York is available in paperback and E-Book formats on
amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and other online retailers. It's also recently been awarded the 2012 Independent Book Publishers' Silver (IPPY) Award for Best Adult Non-Fiction E-Book.
(Considering #107, it had to be done.)