07/25/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Don't Cry For Him Argentina. Governor Sanford Had The Right Idea!

So it now appears that Governor Mark Sanford, (R) South Carolina was dancing the tango in Argentina for five days while his family, staff and his constituents had no idea of his whereabouts.

Yes, Governor Sanford was living the dream. We'd all like to just get away for a few days wouldn't we? However unlike Sanford, most of us have families and bosses who count on us to remain anchored at our post each and every day. So this means that all we are left to do is fantasize about fleeing to some exotic destination or better still, we can think about all the annoying people we wish would simply vanish without a trace (at least for a very long while).

For me, it's my garbage man (sorry - "waste removal engineer") who simply refuses to empty my barrel if there is even a hint of plastic bag peeking over the rim. Wait - scratch that. If he takes off unexpectedly, I know that I'll be forced to make the dump runs myself. Hey - how about the governor of my state Massachusetts? Deval Patrick is already spending most of his time away from the State House anyway. The last time he took off without word was to negotiate a multi-million dollar fee with a New York publishing house to write his memoir as his casino plan crashed and burned back in Boston. Now just so you don't think I'm using my poison pen only on democrats. I also think Alaska governor Sarah Palin should take a long walk far into the wild. If Palin can't parry a few tasteless verbal barbs from David Letterman, do we really think she can stand up to the real despots of the world?

I'd like to send Bernie Madoff's lawyer packing. 12 years in prison for the worst Ponzi scheme in history? C'mon Ira Sorkin, there's gotta be a cave in Pakistan you'd like to explore for awhile.

The world of entertainment has simply too many annoying people to mention. However the pouty-lipped pretty boy from the Twilight movie stands out to me. Okay - that's jealousy talking but still. I heard someone call him the new Cary Grant and almost spit out my coffee. That's it for me. I've gotta take the garbage barrel out to the curb. Now it's your turn!