06/20/2011 06:03 pm ET Updated Aug 20, 2011

HUFFPOST HILL - Weiner Out, Americans Resume Making Genitalia Jokes In Private

Anthony Weiner submitted his resignation letter and we strained to construct the perfect dick joke out of the phrase "effective at midnight." California is probably denying hungry people food so it can afford to kill other people. Comrade Bachmann's friendly letter to the Commissar of Pork Pricing has her fellow counterrevolutionaries uneasy. And, in one of the most aggressive attempts to demonize undocumented Americans yet, John McCain is blaming working-class Mexican immigrants for Arcade Fire...or something. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Monday, June 20th, 2011:

ANTHONY WEINER SUBMITS RESIGNATION LETTER - Anthony - PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS - Weiner has submitted his letter of resignation to New York Secretary of State Cesar Perales and Governor Andrew Cuomo, CCing Speaker John Boehner and Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. The resignation will take effect tomorrow evening. "It has been an honor to serve the people of Queens and Brooklyn," the letter's last sentence reads. Now we can get back to focusing on the important things, like the optics of golf outings. [HuffPost's Elise Foley]

No deal yet on gay marriage in New York. Western Civilization is safe for now.

MICHELE BACHMANN LOVES AMERICA...ALSO LOVES GOVERNMENT LARGESS - In a 2009 letter to Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann exalted the government's move to intervene in her district's pork industry. That's right, she was literally praising government pork. "Your efforts to stabilize prices through direct government purchasing of pork and dairy products are very much welcomed by the producers in Minnesota," she wrote, "and I would encourage you to take any additional steps necessary to prevent further deterioration of these critical industries, such as making additional commodity purchases and working to expand trade outlets for these and other agricultural good." Sorry, Tea Party: There is no alternative to the socialist takeover. [HuffPost's Sam Stein]

MEMBERS OF CONGRESS SHOW LOVE OF STATES' RIGHTS BY TAKING MONEY FROM STATES - Tonight in Roll Call from Jennifer Yachnin: "Even when they're on Capitol Hill, some Members of Congress are still on the state dole, writes Roll Call's Jennifer Yachnin. According to a Roll Call sampling of recently released 2010 financial disclosure reports, at least two-dozen Members receive annual pension payments from their days as state legislators, officials or judges, ranging from a few thousand dollars to nearly $65,000. Although Members are subject to limits on how much outside income they can earn -- the cap was $26,550 in 2010 -- pensions and other retirement programs, such as deferred income agreements, are exempt from those rules. That allows lawmakers who had careers in state government before arriving on Capitol Hill to draw both a Congressional salary of $174,000 and their state pensions."

DAILY DELANEY DOWNER - Here's what an Adams County collections investigator has to say about long-jobless Kelly Wiedemer's inability to come up with money to pay fines and restitution from a 2009 traffic accident: "We don't get any pleasure from having anyone arrested or put in jail," she tells DDD. "Unfortunately, it's of your own doing because if you make your half payments with the court and you do it on time -- and you can call us, we're willing to work with people if they need an extra week or so -- they would never ever get in trouble. It's just the people who think they can just ignore it and it's going to go away that end up finding themselves in a worse bind than they would have been." The investigator says Wiedemer ought to be able to find a job to pay the fines. [HuffPost]

Society: We're doing it wrong.

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HUNTSMAN TO ANNOUNCE TOMORROW, UTAH DEMS POKE FUN AT THOSE MOTOCROSS ADS - The former Utah governor and U.S. ambassador to China will formally announce his candidacy for the White House tomorrow at the Statue of Liberty. Also, Huntsman released what is, presumably, the final short of his three-part series featuring that dude on a motocross riding through the desert. "Tomorrow," the latest ad reads, "The candidate for president who rides motocross to relax." But of course! The bike! It makes sense now! Quel relief! Also, the Utah Democratic party released a video spoofing the avant garde spots. "Has reversed positions he took as governor," splashes over the same biker. "Riding away from his record. Not paid for by Jon Huntsman. Either one of them." Zing! [Daily Caller]

What do liberal bloggers think of Obama? Here it is in 1:26. #NN11

Ed Henry is leaving CNN for Fox News. Henry will serve as the network's chief White House correspondent, filling a vacancy that's been open since Major Garrett left last year. Maybe it was the time he needled President Obama about the veracity of the commander-in-chief's American birth certificate or maybe it was his to willingness throw caution and/or journalistic ethics to the wind and party like a seven-year-old with the people he was tasked with covering, but something caught Fox's eye. The network reportedly made him a very generous offer. God be with ya, lad. Jessica Yellin is the leading candidate to take his place, CNN sources tell Michael Calderone. [HuffPost]

SUPREME COURT SHOOTS DOWN CLIMATE CHANGE LAWSUIT - The high court ruled unanimously today that a federal class action lawsuit brought by states and green groups to bring about reductions in greenhouse gasses is not valid as such appeals should be taken to the EPA. Writing for the court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote that the courts are not the appropriate avenue to pursue such reductions but that the plaintiffs can file legal challenges to EPA decisions. The EPA will decide by next year whether to force emission reductions from utility companies, a proposal opposed by President Obama. It's not the worst court decision that environmentalists will ever face, but it's certainly not the best, either. On a scale from one to ten, with ten being a ruling that "our Earth Mother is protected under the Eighth Amendment" and one being a decision "mandating that 5,000 Ford Aerostars be perpetually left running in the Everglades," this is probably a three-and-a-half. [AP]

A newly-released report on the death penalty finds that capital punishment has cost California $4 billion since it was reinstated in 1978. That comes to about $308 million for each of the 13 condemned prisoners the state has put to death in that time. It's not that we're putting these people to death with the Evian of lethal potassium solutions, the report authored by a federal judge and law professor finds, it's that the combined cost of capital trials, extra security and legal fees adds $184 million on average to the state's annual budget. The report anticipates that the total cost could balloon to $9 billion by 2030 when the expected death row population will reach four digits. Hopefully by then a court will also mandate the state release half of those 1,000-plus inmates early to reduce the burgeoning death row population. [HuffPost's Laura Bassett]

This happened: Don Graham sold a bunch of his WaPo stock after a favorable rule made Kaplan more profitable. [HuffPost]

RNC GETTING ITS DEBT UNDER CONTROL - Under the stewardship of Reince Priebus, the fortunes of the Republican National Committee have dramatically reversed. The committee raised $6.2 million in May, bringing their 2011 total to $30 million and retired $6 million in debt, leaving $18.5 million in obligations remaining. If you can't do the math, the committee's previous chairman, Michael Steele, left the group with $24.5 million in debt, likely a result of of all those "What, Me Worry?" gag T-shirts and extra cases of Diet Slice he purchased for his subordinates. [CNN]

Opponents AND supporters of raising the debt ceiling insist we'll be overtaken by China if we don't do what they say. Can't we just all agree that we'll be taken over by China?

HOUSE TO REPEAL ELECTION COMMISSION SET UP AFTER BUSH V. GORE - The House tomorrow will vote on a bill that would repeal the Election Assistance Commission, set up after the 2000 election to avoid a repeat of the Florida recount imbroglio. The commission was designed to set up voting guidelines for states and allot election funds in a more efficient manner, objectives that observers believe have been met. The bill will be put into the suspension calendar and is expected to be passed with bipartisan support. As long as we're not repealing bans on trucker hats and/or frosted tips, we're fine with this bit of early-aughts housekeeping. [The Hill]

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Thanks, Benefactor!

Twenty-two percent of the respondents to a Gallup survey say they will not vote for a Mormon presidential candidate. The public's willingness to have an LDS member in the White House has remained relatively unchanged for nearly 45 years. Mormons join Scientologists, atheists and teachers unions in the category of people it is acceptable to be bigoted against. In 1967, 17 percent of Americans surveyed expressed discomfort with a Mormon president. Then again, we don't feel comfortable with a president who believes that God begot a zombie carpenter son from Nazareth, but nobody's asking us. [Gallup]

John McCain blames illegal immigrants for wildfires that are scorching thousands of acres of land in Arizona. "First of all we are concerned particularly about areas down on the border where there is substantial evidence that some of these fires are caused by people who have crossed our border illegally," he said at a press conference this weekend. "They have set fires because they want to signal others; they have set fires to keep warm; and they have set fires in order to divert law enforcement agents and agencies from them. So the answer to that part of the problem is: get a secure border." Sure, maybe the Mexicans did it. But maybe it was a legendary country music star? [Salon]

Sarah Palin will soon be trademarked. Swear. To. God.

REPORT: $18 BILLION MISSING IN IRAQ - Al Jazeera reported this weekend that the amount of American funds that have gone missing in Iraq is actually three times the originally reported amount. Some $18.7 billion has either been siphoned off in a gross miscarriage of ethics or has slipped in between the cushions of the biggest goddamn couch you've ever seen. [Al Jazeera]

BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Cat enjoys the work of Slayer.

This photo of Rand Paul on the Metro may very well remind you of your out-of-town uncle who wants nothing more than to figure out how to transfer from the Red Line to Smithsonian.

JEREMY'S WEATHER REPORT - Tonight: Bands of rain and thunderstorms coming in from the west. Chance of rain will be quite high, though there may not be any lightning. Still, expect a wet post-dinner evening. Tomorrow: It'll be about 10 degrees warmer than today's high (mostly due to that warm front coming through). Afternoon thunderstorms are likely. It's nearing the end of June, after all, so get used to it. Thanks, JB!


- If you haven't already seen Stephen Colbert's commencement address to Northwestern, do yourself a favor and click on the link. [http://huff.to/mD1fsP]

- Fire. The wheel. The printing press. The automobile. The Internet. Deep-fried Kool-Aid. [http://huff.to/is7W1S]

- Twenty-one inconsiderate animals. Why aren't these creatures that we subjugate, eat and stare at for our amusement more CONSIDERATE??? [http://huff.to/lxiiQl]

- A group of artists were asked to "draw the Internet." Here are some of the attempts. [http://huff.to/mihARE]

- Have you ever looked at your smart phone while doing your business at urinal? Thanks to this urinal video game, taboos about excretion multitasking will soon be a thing of the past. [http://huff.to/iFfnu0]

- Breakdancing gorilla breakdances in a vibrant celebration of life. Later, it will sink into a massive depression when it realizes that it's not 1985. [http://huff.to/l2urir]

- Weird Al released the video to his Lady Gaga spoof, "Perform This Way." [http://huff.to/lCdMSv]

- Raise your glasses to "Eyebrow Guy," who video bombed an interview with Rory McIlroy during the U.S. Open. [http://huff.to/lZ7xqA]


@KagroX: We Didn't Start the Fire (Mexicans Did)

@michaelroston: Read @HuffPostHill and it's time for rehab MT @fivethirtyeight: Embarrassingly, I read playbook while touring a waterfall in Iceland today

@TerkelRage: Rain in Washington is like mayonnaise on a Wonder Bread sandwich: Just one awful thing on another.



6:00 pm: File in "things we're pretty confident won't be happening":
Anthony Weiner's New York fundraiser with Matt Damon [Almond Restaurant, 12 East 22 Street, New York].

6:00 pm - 8:00 pm: John Larson -- that big ol' gregarious bear -- makes an appearance on behalf of his Synergy PAC [Acqua Al 2, 212 7th Street Southeast].

6:30 pm: Bob Corker, who once stared intently at the sushi we purchased from the Capitol Market and, quite frankly, breathed a little too much on it, attends a campaign event [2220 E Street NE].

7:30 pm: Did you ever see Dinner With Andre? Well that is nothing at all like the fundraising dinner with Saxby Chambliss, Richard Burr and Tom Coburn [Capitol Hill Club,t 300 First Street SE].


11:00 am - 6:00 pm: Mike Pence, candidate for governor and prematurely gray Ken Doll, hosts an all-day golf outing at Donald Trump's golf resort. [Trump National Golf Club, 20391 Lowes Island Boulevard, Potomac Falls].

11:45 am: Express Scripts, which does some do-deal-y with pharmacies and prescriptions (what?) throws a fundraiser for Max Baucus who, you may recall, had some input in the latest health care discussion [Express Scripts, 300 New Jersey Ave. NW Suite 600].

12:00 pm - 1:30 pm: Sander Levin, the Clack to Carl Levin's Click, makes donors feel important at a fundraising lunch [Oceanaire Seafood Room, 1201 F Street NW].

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