03/24/2011 01:13 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

White House Contest: Hey, America -- Tell Us Our Mission in Libya!

As conflicting reasons for U.S. military involvement in Libya continue to inspire criticism, the Obama administration has sponsored "Why Libya? Why Now? Why Not?", a contest for Americans to explain exactly why we are there and what we are doing. "Since no politicians can provide a consistent answer, this seemed like the perfect thing to do," said Games and Hijinks Czar Owen Ratskopple. "Plus, it's a super fun way to get our citizens more directly involved in shaping foreign policy."

The best answer will be chosen by members of the Foreign Relations Committee and become our official policy in Libya; the winner will break the news to Congress. According to the contest's rules, the best answer must 1) be 20 words or less 2) be clear enough so everyone can immediately understand our reasons for being in Libya 3) project strength without being overbearing to foreign countries 4) provide a carefully thought out exit strategy 5) be appealing to American citizens who will then respond positively in all future polls 6) immediately restore America's preeminence in the world and correct anything wrong that we have ever done.

"We welcome anyone who has a solid idea," said Senator Daniel Kirchenfluke. "Limited involvement? Total war? Regime change? Oil? Revenge? Alien abductions? Use your imagination--the sky's the limit! Or, rather, whatever you decide the limit of the sky over Libya may entail."