Love knows who we are and where we live. It needs no introductions. Our names were written in the book of love before we came to earth and will remain there forever after. No one comes to earth without the capacity to love, be loved and be transformed by love. No matter how many times love betrays us, hurts us or abandons us, something within us is more determined than ever to go to battle and win the coveted war -- love.
It is astounding to see the number of people taking such an active role in pursuing love. It has become a career path of sorts. Cyberspace has become the new playground for singles to meet and connect -- all from the comfort of home. Magazines and media bombard us with an endless stream of advice on dating and mating, finding and keeping, and all the other techniques and methods of forcing love to happen. Yes, forcing love to happen. The mystic and poet Kahlil Gibran reveals, "And think not you can guide the course of love. For love, if it finds you worthy, shall guide your course." Love is a mystery, not a methodology.
Love is a human obsession and nobody is more obsessed than a single person in search of the perfect one. When single people get together it is no surprise that the conversations always revolve around love and relationships. Being privy to these conversations myself, it has gotten my inner detective working over time. For example, if all of us have a complimentary half/soulmate -- where are they? Why are some people love magnets while others seem to end up in the desert Sahara? Is there a reason for all this and if so -- what is it?
I once heard a quote that intrigued me: "Being single is nature's way of forcing you to love yourself"-- this quote has so many layers of meaning and depth. I'll go one step further and say that being single is a profound opportunity for self realization. An opportunity to determine your worth and value, to define your boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not, to understand that the highest expression of love is to become more of who you are, to realize that love does not require you to compromise your self respect, dignity or self worth, to reflect on what you believed you had to give up in order to get what you thought was love, and to know the depth of your capacity to love deeply, truly and completely.
Being single is not a permanent condition but a preparation. You are in the most profound initiatory and adventurous phase of your life -- building a relationship with your soul. Be willing to stop moving, talking, planning, searching, looking. Instead honor and embrace the path you are on even if that means being alone for a while. Love will come at the appointed hour and whisk you off your feet, doubt not, for the divine person you are preparing for is also being prepared for you.
Finally, we do not decide when or how or who we fall in love with, because there is more to our journey to love than meets the eye. The wisdom of Rumi tells us: "Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."