SCENES FROM MOVIES I WOULD MAKE ABOUT THINGS THAT HAPPENED THROUGHOUT HISTORY ON FEBRUARY 24TH.
1803: Marbury V Madison decided.
Setting: Interior, a courtroom in olden times.
Chief Justice John Marshall: William Marbury, we have decided to deny your petition. Though you made an excellent case, your argument was based upon the Judiciary Act of 1789, which the court finds unconstitutional.
William Marbury: Stands up, pushing his chair back. The only thing unconstitutional is that sweater you're wearing!!!!
Storms out of court room. Long silence.
One of the other justices whistles and makes the cookoo-crazy gesture with his finger around the side of his head. All the other justices laugh. Two high-five.
END OF SCENE.
1582: Pope Gregory announces the Gregorian Calendar.
Setting: Exterior. Balcony at the Vatican.
Enter Pope Gregory--staff, robe, you know the deal.
Crowd cheers. Pope puts out a hand to silence them. Everyone looks up at him expectantly.
Pope Gregory: The Gregorian Calendar!!!
Crowd Cheers.
Pope Gregory Exists.
TWO DAYS LATER
Scene: Interior, blacksmith's forge. Two blacksmiths are having an argument, shouting loudly. You can tell they're blacksmiths because their faces are dirty and they're wearing those leather chap things that blacksmiths wear. A horse is tied up nearby and there are a bunch of anvils lying around.
Man1: Shouting. I tell you, it's January 14th.
Man2: Shouting, stepping closer. It's the 15th!
Man1: Even louder, stepping even closer. 14th!
Man 2: Grabs man 1 by the arms and pulls his face close. 15th!!! This Gregorian Calendar is tearing us apart!!!!!!
Man1: Speaking softly now. It isn't.
Man 2: Their faces are close. He is quieter too. It isn't the 15th, or the new calendar isn't tearing us apart?
Man 1: Both. They kiss.
END OF SCENE.
2010: I'm still broke.
Setting: Interior, my room. My dummy cats are lying around being annoying. I'm working at my desk. Alone.
Me: Oh look, it's February 24th.
I keep working.
I go to bankofamerica.com.
Me: Oh great. I have $24.67 in my checking account. Well I guess I should make lunch and eat my feelings.
Gets up to walk to the kitchen. Steps in cat barf.
Me: I hate myself.
END OF SCENE.