1) You recognize there's no such thing as too many vomit buckets in your home.
2) Words like "neutropenia," "pentamidine" and "cyclophosphamide" just trip off your tongue (and you can spell them, too!).
3) You're irritated that someone's taken your usual spot in the hospital parking lot.
4) You pack coordinating outfits and your hairdryer (and possibly even your anti-aging cream?) to use during your child's hospital stay... it's become your second home, why look like a hot mess?
5) You breeze past hospital security. They should know who you are by now, for God's sake.
6) You're mistaken for a social worker as you walk to the hospital elevator.
7) You realize you are getting too attached to your nurse practitioner.
8) The hospital cafeteria cashier asks you for your staff discount card.
9) Your first thought of the day as you wake up beside your inpatient child is not getting your caffeine fix, but asking your RN for the latest ANC.
10) A rising ANC makes you blink back tears of joy.
11) You marvel at discovering the only truly waterproof mascara that doesn't leave rivulets of black running down both cheeks when you cry.
12) A doctor's request to talk in private triggers a reflex of primal terror.
13) You question the phlebotomist when the lab requisition isn't marked STAT.
14) You get used to the resident saying they'll have to get the attending to answer your questions.
15) You wish the residents would stop wasting your time and only the attending would attend.
16) The attending's face falls when she sees you at your child's bedside -- she knows she's stuck with you for a while.
17) You wonder when you'll get your paycheck -- wait a minute, you don't work at the hospital, or anywhere anymore (who'd want to hire you, anyway?).
18) You are constantly on the lookout for attractive hats for your child.
19) You've perfected the stink eye for anyone who dares to stare at your child's bald head or steroid-swollen face.
20) You restrain yourself from saying "WTF" when you hear your daughter's friend complain about her new haircut.
21) You snoop through your child's email inbox and intercept those messages that you decide are insensitive.
22) You are never without tissues and Tylenol. You know that you'll probably have a thumping headache and/or shed a torrent of tears at least once a day.
This post originally appeared in The Mourning After Natasha.
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.