04/29/2013 12:01 pm ET Updated Apr 29, 2013

Must Stepparents Love Their Stepchildren? Iyanla Vanzant Weighs In (VIDEO)

Sasha the Diva's family is in turmoil. The popular radio personality has been married to her husband, Kevin, for two years, making Kevin the stepfather to Sasha's 17-year-old son, Dominique. Yet this blended family is in serious trouble. Kevin and Dominique have clashed so aggressively and so often that they can't stand living under the same roof. Their troubled relationship has left the family in ruins.

In this clip from "Iyanla: Fix My Life," Iyanla Vanzant takes Kevin out to his favorite restaurant -- away from his stepson and the negative energy in the home -- to get his thoughts on his role as a stepparent and better understand how the stepfather-stepson relationship dissolved into such a nightmare.

"When Sasha and I first met, things kind of moved fast and I wasn't really spending a lot of time with Dominique," Kevin explains. "We don't interact like a father and son... I have attempted to, but, I have to be honest, at some point, I just gave up."

Complicating the relationship is the fact that Kevin often refers to Dominique as Sasha's son and has a different parenting style than his wife. "I'm not allowed to discipline her son," he tells Iyanla in the clip. "There's a big difference in our… beliefs in raising kids."

This difference has become such a problem that Kevin has actually packed his bags to leave. He also keeps a running list of his stepson's bad behaviors -- such as taking one of the family cars without permission -- and even writes on the list that if Dominique fails to obey Kevin's rules he will "kick his ass." Iyanla is shocked that Kevin even has this list and asks him to explain the point of it. "What I thought was, 'I love this woman and I'll try to help her with her kid,'" he says.

"'Her kid!'" Iyanla repeats. "You know what? As a stepparent, you don't have the luxury of not falling in love with the children. You do not have that luxury because she, as a mom … she's going to choose him every time."

Iyanla also asks Kevin a simple but powerful question about Dominique: "When was the last time you told him you loved him?"

Kevin can't remember. Iyanla says, "Your stepson has no clue that you love him. None whatsoever. He doesn't even think that you like him. And if the queen had known that you cared about the prince, not that you were just going to toss him over to the side, you'd have a very, very powerful kingdom."

"Iyanla: Fix My Life" airs Saturdays at 9 p.m. ET on OWN.

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