According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, on average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking in their lifetime. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men experience severe physical intimate partner violence in their lifetime. On April, 11, 2017 NBC News reported that nearly three women in the U.S. are killed every day by intimate partners. Although Black women only make up 13% of the U.S. female population, they represent over half of the female homicide victims. Today, a survivor of near fatal domestic abuse is striving to lower those stats by educating and offering support to other women in need. Sathya Nelson, a Brooklyn native now living in Atlanta Georgia, knows all too well what it is like to be battered, bruised and nearly killed at the hands of someone who said he loved her. As a young teen she met a man 12 years her senior who gave her the attention and love that she had missed as a girl growing up without her father. Looking at him with young loving eyes, Sathya could not decipher between “he loves me” and what it really was, “he’s controlling me”. As cliche as it may sound, early on, she felt his controlling ways and fits of jealous rage were because he loved her and didn’t want to be without her. She learned painfully that was not the case. With her abuser in and out of jail, Sathya moved to North Carolina to get a fresh start. However, later on they reconnected. He was remorseful. He had found God. He had changed. Or so she thought. The vicious cycle began again. First it was only verbal. Lots of yelling would take place. He would demean her, tell her no one wanted her, she was unattractive. He was so good at manipulating her self-speak that as a still in her twenties mother, she began to believe it. At first she stayed because she felt he loved her. Then it became paramount that she stay because maybe no one else would. The abuse of course escalated. Black eyes followed by bruised ribs eventually graduated to attempted murder. The tipping point came when Sathya’s mother tearfully described to her a dream she had. Her mom had a dream that Sathya and her children were murdered by this same abusive man. After hearing her mother’s sobbing account of what could become of her and her kids, Sathya sought the assistance of a friend who helped her leave and get an apartment where her and her children could not be found. At first, there was guilt. As with a lot of abuse victims, Sathya first felt guilty for leaving. Maybe it was her fault that he had abused her all those years. Maybe she had done something wrong. Maybe, just maybe, she shouldn’t have left. But she stayed strong. She didn’t go back to him, nor did she look back. Once she made the decision to forgive him and move forward, her life has been filled with newfound hope. After years of recovery, Sathya and her children are doing well. They have adjusted to having healthy, fruitful relationships. It was quite a road though. Sathya Nelson is now remarried to a wonderful man who is wonderful to her children. However, she had to learn HOW to receive that love and give it back. After so many years of being brutalized at the hand of someone that she dearly loved, Sathya had to learn how to receive real love and understand that being treated well was something she deserved. Through love, patience, counseling and prayer, Sathya has overcome the PTSD that comes along with being battered. Her marriage and her children are thriving. Today, the love that she gives is not likely to cost her life. Part of her recovery has now become her passion. Sathya Nelson is proudly standing as one of the leading voices against domestic abuse. Her non-profit organization, Scars of Survival provides support services to victims of domestic violence that are looking for and need a fresh start. Scars of Survival provides employment referrals, housing referral services, transportation services, counseling, clothing and more for families in need. Mrs. Nelson is quickly becoming a best selling author after launching her newest book, The Survivor’s Guide. In closing, Mrs. Nelson hopes to help as many women as possible release the strong hold of domestic violence from their lives. She of all people know that scars run deep but survival runs deep as well. You can reach out to Sathya on all social media through @ScarsOfSurvival.
Felicia L. Hamilton