The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter here.
*drunk texts boy at 1 a.m.*
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) June 13, 2017
*deletes texts in the morning*
me to me: I'm not able to discuss or confirm or deny nature of conversations
Someone in the ad world realized that by publicly announcing you are pulling your ad you get free publicity.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) June 13, 2017
"This is a secret innuendo being leaked about me and I don't appreciate it!" -Sessions, apparently refusing to say where the cookie tree is
— maura quint (@behindyourback) June 13, 2017
It's easier to justify sleeping ten hours if someone else is doing it right next to you
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) June 14, 2017
trying to explain feminism to women with internalized misogyny pic.twitter.com/49ewf6cpGD
— farwz (@farwzz) June 16, 2017
Mr Sessions, on what date did you officially begin representing the Lollipop Guild
— Erin 🎶Gloria🎶 Ryan (@morninggloria) June 13, 2017
Maybe I'm a little old-fashioned but I just can't orgasm until I've won a round of Mario Kart
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) June 14, 2017
If you're getting interviewed in front of a bookshelf, you're probably being upstaged by a bookshelf.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) June 14, 2017
Why are white men so angry? Is there a shortage of cargo shorts? Did New Balance stop selling those all white sneakers? Is golf now illegal?
— Awesomely Luvvie (@Luvvie) June 14, 2017
I'm going home for my high school reunion and I forgot to bring my iPhone charger or have children.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) June 15, 2017
it's a beautiful day to neglect your responsibilities
— Ziwe (@ziwe) June 10, 2017
old twitter vs new twitter pic.twitter.com/Ct4JC3UM5o
— Ellie Sunakawa (@elliesunakawa) June 15, 2017
person: your banana bread is amazing...what's your secret ingredient?
— Erica (@SCbchbum) June 15, 2017
me: depression
I love that my thighs have a healthy, affectionate relationship and kiss up on each other whatever chance they get. Forever honeymooning
— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) June 15, 2017
Just sneezed my headphones off and I'm both embarrassed and impressed
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) June 15, 2017
Problem is, spending $13.7 billion at Whole Foods only gets you one slightly used organic gluten free grape.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) June 16, 2017
Senator Kamala of the House Harris, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Congresional Hearings pic.twitter.com/4ixGnfVT8G
— Sarah Lerner (@SarahLerner) June 13, 2017
"That Don't Oppress Me Much" by Sharia Twain
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) June 10, 2017
should it be illegal to make me wear a bra in the summer? idk maybe i think we should at least have the conversation
— Lily Weber (@ell_webz) June 14, 2017
"mother," my children plead, "will you please tell us a bedtime tweet?" i laugh. "another? well, alright, maybe just one more"
— Rachel Stromberg (@stromptious) June 15, 2017
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