Sleepless Toddler Syndrome-Why it stinks when they won’t stay in bed And how to avoid a casting call for the Walking Dead

Sleepless Toddler Syndrome-Why it stinks when they won’t stay in bed And how to avoid a casting call for the Walking Dead
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
TorontoStar.com

When you hear the phrase, “pillow talk” are you prone to be more excited about the pillows rather than the talking? Are you currently housing a toddler who gleefully figured out their doorknobs’ child lock and has been making regular appearances at your bedside for the better part of the month? Can you count on one hand the last time you got a full night’s sleep?

If so, you might be one of the millions of parents out there who suffer from interrupted sleep due to children. According to BabyCenter, it is common for two and sometimes three-year- olds who previously slept through the night to start having interrupted sleeping habits due to routine changes, growth, illness, different environment etc… to name a few. But whatever the reason, you’re not alone if your child has developed this habit.

Earlier in the year, a relative mentioned that her son starting to wake up during the night and I remember thinking, oh that won’t be my child. She’s awesome at sleeping through the night…

Enter a Chick-Fil-A play place, a child with an extremely running nose and a mother who got too confident. Oh, I saw that runny nose through the plate glass and I thought meh, my child has a durable immune system. I let her play in the dirt. She’ll be fine. At 2:00 am I paid for my mistake. I paid good. The cold had moved in, and it was building its summer home in my child’s sinuses.

She ended up being sick for the better part of the month and for the next three months we didn’t get one full night’s sleep. I would be laying there in my peaceful slumber and then I’d hear it. The cry of a toddler in need. Of course, I would turn over and pray it would stop and I could sleep once more. But no. And if mommy didn’t appear in her doorway in a time frame deemed appropriate by the stuffy nose dictator, she would present herself at my bedside breathing heavily through her mouth like a scene from Children of the Corn.

Now I’m a bit of night owl myself and can stay up late if I have to and so is my child. We both prefer to sleep in instead. She doesn’t get too crabby either. In fact, she’s actually quite pleasant, and generally just wants to hang out with mommy and daddy, until we banish her to her bed. One weekend my husband was out of town so I decided to try a little experiment. I decided to see just how late she’d be willing to stay up with me. By the time 3:00 am rolled around, I was expecting to turn around and find her face down on the floor with her pride in one hand and her teddy bear in the other, but oh no. She was going strong. If I hadn’t found this so terrifying I would have been mildly impressed.

However, I’m also the type of person that once I’m asleep I need to stay asleep. When my daughter was a newborn we had this mutual understanding that she could stay up until exactly 1 am but then it’s light out and we don’t reconvene until the sun’s up. So this whole business of being woken up from a sound sleep over and over again was NOT ok. In fact, it was: Exhausting. The: I’m-so-tired-I’m-in-tears kind of exhausting.

She just would not stay asleep and at one point, by the fifth time she had woken me up in a single night, I went stumbling into her room and starting yelling and eventually it ended up with us both yelling at each other to “Calm down!”

Ultimately, this horrific nightmare passed and whatever mutant gene the Chick-Fil-A kid had given her, cleared up and she started sleeping pretty regularly again and now she wakes up only occasionally. But it made me wonder, what is it about sleep deprivation that makes people lose their minds? So I did a little digging. According to Psychology Today a lack of sleep actually affects the brain’s amygdala which is the emotional center of the brain and also responsible for the “Fight or Flight” emotion. When your child disturbs your sleep over and over again, they are literally triggering your body’s natural response for immediate survival. No wonder sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Study.com

So when the body gets enough sleep, the prefrontal cortex can keep the amygdala in check, and when it’s off balance, that’s when mommy is going to get cranky and just-let-me-pee-for-once-in-peace mode sets in. Too bad telling my child that she’s sending me into “Fight or Flight” response won’t do anything.

If you find yourself in a similar predicament, (I once read about a parent who took a bat to their roomba after three days of sleep deprivation), then here are some tips that might help get you and your toddler back to slumber land.

Try and narrow down what your toddler is waking up for. Are they hungry? By two years old, toddlers should be getting enough nourishment during the day to sustain them during the night, unlike a newborn who needs to eat every two or three hours. Are they sick? Generally, they’ll be uncomfortable. Sometimes a humidifier will help sooth the air or if needed, doctor recommended cold medicine. If the child is simply getting out of bed because they want to start the day, thechildatheart.blog recommends light up clocks that will turn green when the appropriate time has arrived and the child will know they can come out of their room.

Healthline suggests having a solid bedtime routine. Whether it’s bath time, story and lights out or whatever your personal preference is, having some sort of routine will usually trigger your child’s sleepiness because they associate the actions with going to bed. Finally, Parents.com offers a few good tips, including giving the child one “get out of bed free” pass where they can come to you just once in the night for a request. Or monitoring if your child is having nightmares (common at this age) and if so, reading or telling happy stories and helping your child feel safe in their room. Just remember at the end of the day, your child is looking for your comfort, and whether it’s letting them sleep with one of mommy’s t-shirts or using the “get out of bed” pass each night, eventually you and your child will find a method that works.

So when the next sleepless night rolls around, and I can’t imagine getting out of bed again, I’ll try to remember that she won’t always need me to comfort her. One day she’ll be a lame teenager who just wants to be left alone, mother. And when I’m doing my zombie-like shuffle through the hallway and I stub my toe for the sixth time, I’ll remember how her little body use to curl perfectly in my arms as I held her. And when I’m standing in her doorway at high noon (or in this case, midnight) and we’re facing off against each other like two gunslingers in a Western where one of us isn’t going to survive the night, I’ll be quietly and reluctantly grateful she still wanted her mommy. And to you, you poor sleep deprived parent, I hope you do too.

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot