Poor Disney Princesses. They’ve been manipulated into everything from assassins to Taylor Swift. But what if we gave them an actual ~voice of their own~?
We’re pretty sure Ariel would be an ocean advocate with her own HBO documentary and Belle would be the next great feminist author.
These are the activist fairytale revisions we'd want to see -- especially given the fact that exposure to Disney princesses can cause girls to conform to gender norms and feel that their potential is limited.
Check out these tales that are our true heart's desire below.
1. Ariel Would Clean Up All The Thingamabobs In The Ocean And Protest Pollution
You’d never find activist Ariel brunching with Prince Eric on the weekends -- instead she’d be organizing beach cleanups.
The Little Mermaid's favorite hobby was collecting whoseits and whatsits galore that had made their way into the water, so she knew all about the garbage invading our oceans. This mermaid with a megaphone would tell everyone the harsh reality that, without any reforms, the oceans will contain more plastic than fish by 2050. She’s got Flounder’s wellbeing to think about, after all.
2. Belle Would Be Doing A Feminist Book Reading In Brooklyn
If Gaston ever again lamented, “It’s not right for a woman to read,” brassy Belle would surely hit him upside the head with a copy of “Bad Feminist.”
Belle would take her cause seriously, advocating for the more than 770 million people around the world who still don’t know how to read -- with two-thirds of that population being women. After setting Gaston straight, Belle would rally him to help her launch a book drive to get reading materials to those who need them.
3. Jasmine Would Want A Whole New World In Which Animals Are Protected
First, a justice-seeking Jasmine would become enlightened and realize her tiger bae Rajah shouldn’t have been cooped up in a palace instead of being in the wild.
Then, she'd paper the streets with petitions from her magic carpet ride, urging everyone to speak out for the 2,215 species considered endangered or threatened.
4. Cinderella Would Use Her Broom Handle As A Picket Sign, Protesting Unfair Labor Laws
Though Cinderella did trade her tattered clothes for a ball gown in the end, the glass slipper-wearing princess wouldn’t forget where she came from.
Her time spent slaving away for her evil stepmother would have made her seriously empathetic with American workers’ plight. Low-income workers have been fighting for years for a $15 minimum wage -- and they recently won some important victories in New York and California. Cinderella and her fellow mouse laborers would have been right there with them, marching to bring the living wage countrywide.
5. Mulan Would Speak Out For Women In Combat, Battling Back Any Misogyny
After the U.S. military opened up combat roles to women, a mission-driven Mulan would have been the first to join the front lines. And she would have advocated for gender parity.
As someone who disguised herself as a dude to join the army in patriarchal ancient China, she wouldn’t have tolerated any misogyny. Given that a 2015 report from RAND National Defense Research Institute found that 85 percent of U.S. Special Operations Forces surveyed were against allowing women into their specialty, we need more women like Mulan.
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