Crimecyber bullyingBullyingNicole Mittendorff

Female Firefighter's Suspected Suicide Sparks Cyberbullying Probe

The investigation comes just days after 31-year-old Nicole Mittendorff's death.
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By 

Breaking News Reporter, HuffPost

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Virginia firefighter Nicole Mittendorff, 31, was found dead on Thursday, ending a week-long manhunt.
FindNicole/Facebook

A few months before 31-year-old Nicole Mittendorff was found dead last week in a suspected suicide, the Virginia firefighter was attacked in an online forum that appeared to target female emergency workers.

The anonymous comments appeared on the Fairfax Underground website in December, under a thread for Fairfax County firefighters. Posting on the thread is open to the public and not exclusive to firefighters, so it's not clear who is responsible for them.

Commenters went after multiple women believed to be Fairfax County employees and volunteers, making claims about their promiscuity, sharing their photos and judging their attractiveness. In one case, a woman's selection for a paramedic program is credited to "the guys she regularly sleeps with, including her chief."

Though the thread has remained active for nearly two years, it only made headlines upon news of Mittendorff's disappearance, which sparked a six-day manhunt last week.

Authorities found Mittendorff's body on Thursday inside Shenandoah National Park. A medical examiner ruled her death a suicide, ABC7 reported, and police confirmed that there was a suicide note in her car.

Fairfax Fire and Rescue is now investigating the online posts, Fairfax County Fire Chief Richard Bowers said in a statement on Saturday. 

"We at Fairfax Fire and Rescue are aware of the posts and are looking into the matter. I assure you that my department can not and will not tolerate bullying of any kind,” Bowers stated. “We will thoroughly investigate this matter and take any appropriate actions needed. However, right now we ask that we be allowed to grieve the loss of one of our own.”

What is not clear is how long the fire department knew of the posts and how they were handled, if at all.

Fairfax Underground moderator Cary Wiedemann said that anonymous posters can be identified and information can be supplied to law enforcement officers.

"I have and will continue to retain all IP addresses of Fairfax Underground posters indefinitely in case any court wishes to unmask the perpetrators of this abuse," Wiedemann said in an email to The Huffington Post on Monday.

According to the website's rules, which are posted on its welcome page, any spam, unrelated posts, personal attacks and impersonations are subject to removal.

Wiedemann said that moderators do not actively seek out inappropriate content. Instead, they rely on users to report misconduct with a "Report Abuse" link that appears under every post for registered users.

"I still have yet to receive a single abuse report regarding the thread in question," Wiedemann said.

Angela Hughes, president of the International Association of Women in Fire and Emergency Services, said she hoped authorities will focus on preventing another suicide -- something she believes Bowers will do.

"He's a good man and he is very supportive of the women," Hughes told HuffPost on Monday. "I know that he will ensure a good training and suicide prevention program will be developed and make every effort to hold anyone responsible accountable, should there be anyone."

For the time being, Hughes urged emergency personnel contemplating suicide to seek help. Recommended organizations include the Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance and the National Volunteer Fire Council’s Share the Load program.

If you or someone you know needs help, please call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of international resources.

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Before You Go

How To Talk About Bullying
DO: Tell Them They Are Not Alone(01 of11)
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Bullying can be an incredibly isolating experience, and many victims feel that they are alone–that something about them, specifically, has brought this on. Explain to your child that bullying is something that can happen to anyone: boys, girls, preschoolers, high schoolers, kids at large schools and kids at small schools. This means there is a large group of people impacted by bullying, and if we all work together, we can certainly make a difference. (credit:Shutterstock)
DON'T: Suggest They "Just Ignore It"(02 of11)
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A common reaction to bullying is encouraging the victim to ignore the bully. "They just want a reaction," people say, and if you deny them the reaction, they'll go away. That's not always the case. Sometimes, when the bully realizes they are being ignored, they can feel a sense of power over their victim that can actually make the situation worse. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Check In Regularly(03 of11)
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Asking your child basic questions about their day and their experience at school can help you catch a problem sooner. Ask how a specific class was, or who they sat with at lunch. Ask who is trying out for the team, or who is going to local fair that weekend. These harmless questions tell your child that you care, but they can also help you detect changes in your child's situation that may indicate a bullying problem. (credit:Getty Images)
DON'T: Suggest Your Child Stand Up To The Bully(04 of11)
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While helping your child prepare a speech or enrolling them in self-defense courses might seem like an empowering solution, you're sending the message to your child that this problem is theirs, and that they have to handle it alone. Instead, discuss what some solutions might be and involve your child in the decision making process. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Set Boundaries Online(05 of11)
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The National Crime Prevention Council reports that 20 to 43 percent of middle and high school school students have reported being victims of cyber bullying. Encourage your child to protect themselves by following these two guidelines:1. Never say or do anything online that you wouldn't say or do in person. 2. Never share any information that you wouldn't tell a stranger. (credit:Shutterstock)
DON'T: Express Disbelief(06 of11)
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While we'd like to think we know everything about our children and their friends, don't express disbelief if they say someone has done something that shocks you. Your child needs to know that they can trust you. Asking them to provide evidence or saying that someone "would never do that" can come across as you taking the side of someone other than your child. Instead, be as supportive as possible and listen to their side. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Encourage Them To Speak Up(07 of11)
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A recent study of children ages 9 to 12, showed that 56 percent said that they usually either say or do something to try to stop bullying or tell someone who can help (Brown, Birch, & Kancherla, 2005). Make sure your child knows who he or she can talk to if they have something they want to share, whether that is you, a school counselor, a teacher or a coach. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Discourage Password Sharing(08 of11)
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Explain the importance of keeping online passwords private, even from close friends. Your child may be thinking that sharing a password with a close friend is harmless and convenient, but explain that anyone with their password could impersonate them online and embarrass them. If they insist that the friend would never do that, remind them that the friend could share their password, either intentionally or unintentionally, and someone else would have that same power. (credit:Shutterstock)
DON'T: Take Matters Entirely Into Your Own Hands(09 of11)
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While your first reaction may be to protect your child by calling the parent of the bully or confront the child yourself, this is not always a good solution. Not only is this this rarely effective, it may even prove fodder for additional bullying. Your child wants to feel empowered and involved in the solution, so discuss options with him or her and work together to decide on a plan of action. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Be Patient(10 of11)
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Your child may be embarrassed or afraid to talk about what is happening to them. This is normal. Rather than pressuring your child into speaking before they are ready, just make it clear that you are willing to listen and be a source of support for them. Once they feel comfortable, they will know that they can open up to you and seek your advice. Better yet, if you've had this conversation preemptively, before a problem arises, your child will know right away that you can be their partner in finding a solution. (credit:Shutterstock)
DO: Find Resources Online(11 of11)
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Green Giant's Raise A Giant site includes a page that lets you read letters other parents have written to empower their children. You can write your own letter and explore their other resources, including videos and sharable infographics. PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center site also has a page with resources like informational handouts, fact sheets, educational toolkits, and the "We Will Generation." You can also browse the video page to see if some of their video resources would be helpful for you or for your child. Green Giant's Raise A Giant site includes a page that lets you write a letter to empower your child, but you can also read the letters other parents have written to inspire your talks with your child. (credit:Shutterstock)
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