New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd traveled to Colorado to cover the state's legalized pot scene -- and it didn't go very well.
Now, Dowd's "bad trip" is quickly becoming the stuff of Internet legend.
In Denver, Dowd sampled a marijuana candy bar (this is research after all), and when she didn't feel anything at first, she ate some more.
But then I felt a scary shudder go through my body and brain. I barely made it from the desk to the bed, where I lay curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours. I was thirsty but couldn’t move to get water. Or even turn off the lights. I was panting and paranoid, sure that when the room-service waiter knocked and I didn’t answer, he’d call the police and have me arrested for being unable to handle my candy.
I strained to remember where I was or even what I was wearing, touching my green corduroy jeans and staring at the exposed-brick wall. As my paranoia deepened, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me.
That's led to responses on Twitter such as this one:
@NYTimesDowd Did you ever really look at your hand? I mean *really* look at it?
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) June 4, 2014
This explains a lot about Maureen Dowd, you guys.
— Andi Zeisler (@andizeisler) June 4, 2014
Dowd doesn't say how much of the candy bar she ate, or if she ate the whole thing. But the next day, a medical consultant at an edibles plant told her that it should have been divided into 16 pieces, especially for someone like Dowd, who says she is not a "regular" marijuana user.
But that suggested serving size isn't mentioned on the label.
Maureen Dowd accidentally brings up a good point— noobs can get pot with no friendly guidance!
— Annie-Rose Strasser (@ARStrasser) June 4, 2014
Of course, as many have pointed out on Twitter, Dowd could've asked.
Regardless, careful reading of her column reveals several things we didn't know about Dowd:
- She wears green corduroy jeans.
- She used to love Sky Bars.
- Her normal drugs of choice are chardonnay and mediocre movies-on-demand.
Maybe next time Dowd tries an edible, she can write about why she fell out of love with Sky Bars. Was it a bad experience with the vanilla section?
See more Twitter responses to Dowd's column below.