After spending a week in Los Angeles, Lindsay Lohan is relieved to be back at home in New York. The actress, whose sobriety and recovery progress is a big focus in her docuseries "Lindsay," explains how no longer having roots on the West Coast impacts her sense of [belonging] during the visit.
"It's just really hard being in L.A.," Lohan says. "I've never gone back to L.A. without living there. It's this constant kind of unsettling feeling that I have there."
Yet, while she was in California, tabloids published photos of Lohan that suggest she may have relapsed. One widely circulated photo shows Lohan appearing to reach for a full wine bottle. Speaking out about the rumors on "Lindsay," she insists the photograph is innocent.
"My friend and I went to pick up food, and she had had two of her friends over. You know, she had wine out," Lohan says. "My bag's near it, I'm rushing -- that's when I was going to the airport -- and someone takes a picture. Then there's a million stories."
Even though she denies drinking on her trip to Los Angeles, Lohan does admit to something else: She did drink alcohol one month earlier.
"I jumped right into a relationship where we weren't on the same page. I wasn't considering the fact that the person I was seeing does drink," Lohan says. "I had a glass of wine."
Afterwards, Lohan says that her guilt kept her from opening up about the relapse. "I just had so much guilt," she shares. "It took me a bit to finally just be like, 'Why am I holding this in? Yeah, f**k it. I screwed up. I screwed up. And that's okay. But, now, what can I do so it doesn't happen again?'"
Acknowledging her mistake, Lohan says, is an important part of her recovery. "That's a part of the process," she says. "That's a part of life."