Paula always thought that infidelity should be "a deal breaker" in marriage--until two good friends confided in her about their unfaithful husbands. "I had a hard time wrapping my head around how you could possibly stay with someone who could not be faithful to you," she said, "someone who could bring that betrayal into your life. But once you have children, custody most often comes with a split, so the reality that you're never really free from the person tends to be a huge factor in encouraging or pressuring people to stay together after infidelity. I was just amazed," Paula concluded. "I never thought that I would be able to see the other side, but marriage with children is really different than marriage without children."