Trend Alert! Pre-teens (tweens?) are getting their hair did. Yup, you heard me. The 9 year old down the street is getting high-lights and low-lights and chemical straightening. What is this world coming to?
I remember way back in 1995 (ha! mock me now), when I was 12, and all the cool girls were doing the "temporary" hair dye home kit thing. You know, strawberry blonde for four weeks, auburn for 6. (For some reason, red was always a hot color.) At $12 a pop, it was a cheap, easy, and an entirely reversible way to get that pre-teen rebellion itch scratched.
Except for me. It was the hey-day of Manic Panic and I was severely uncool. Nope, there was no way, no how that my mother was letting "low-class" hair dye within a mile of my beautiful, blonde tresses (her words, not mine.) And so I suffered, all natural, all boring, all through my elementary, junior-, and high-school career.
Ready for me to quit the pity party yet? Good, because I am. So I wasn't allowed to dye my hair. So, what? Yeah, I huffed and I puffed and I hid in my room watching back to back episodes of My So-Called Life, but I survived.
So, what I can't understand is why these parents are indulging these utterly superficial and unnecessary requests. Is this one of those, "I'm so busy as it is, if the only time I can spend un-conflicted time with my daughter is at the hair salon, then so be it" things? Word to the wise, there is no such thing as "un-conflicted" mother-daughter time, and there is nothing wrong with that.
And to be honest, as much as I fought tooth and nail to be able to dye my hair, I am now utterly thankful I didn't. I made it all through college, and even two years out without touching the chemical color. I had no roots, no split ends, need to put aside the $150 every 6 weeks it costs to keep up the oh-so-popular bergdorf blonde. And when I finally bit the bullet (because the musty Manhattan air had sucked all the life out of my color), I stressed over and over and over again to my hairdresser that I wanted it to look natural. Because you know what? Natural is in, and it also saves you money.
Why-oh-why are these parents so irresponsibly instilling in their daughters the idea that their appearance is improvable? That they will look better, cooler, prettier when they finally get their chunky highlights and edgy cuts? Every twelve-year-old since the dawn of time feels awkward and uncool and utterly unnoticeable, so why would any parent go out of their way and out of their pocket to reaffirm these notions? These girls won't lose their friends because they don't have purple streaks, and if they do, they shouldn't have had those friends in the first place.
I've already told Kate Hudson to stand up for her hair, and I've announced that frizzy is the new fabulous, and so this is my call to arms. In an age where Suri Cruise's haircut (as fabulous as it is) probably cost more than my cable, cellphone, and utility bill combined (and I live in Manhattan), we need to stop somewhere.
So, parents, leave your children's hair alone. Put the money in a college fund, and step away from the blowdryer. They've got the rest of their adult life to be judged by their hair, so don't start now.
And I promise, they'll get over it -- I did. And you know what else? One day, they'll thank you for it.