In my work with families over the years, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon that occurs when the family unit is going through tough times. Some families become very subdued and shut down from the world and each other. When these families are experiencing a rough patch it seems that laughter and playfulness is abandoned and is replaced by worry, stress, and anger. When these heavier energies dominate the family time together it can be hard to connect into the joy and love that keeps a family united.
There are other families though, who react with a more positive, energized attitude, even when going through tough times. They allow laughter, humor and connection to be part of the journey and the healing process. Rather than allowing the dark energy of the situation to dominate their family story, they lean into memories of good times and share lightness to keep the path clean for healing to take place.
Now I am not suggesting that your family can laugh their way through all their troubles, that takes active communication and openness, but a good belly laugh echoing through the hallways can be an effective curative for the stale energy that can haunt the house of a family that is drifting apart. Whether the laughter is yours or you witness it from another family member, it has a curative effect, which allows the family to relieve some of the stress they are experiencing.
Laughing together is a great way to improve the mood of any moment as well as diffuse conflict. When sharing that laughter with someone you love, the benefits multiply dramatically. Whether it is shared between you and your spouse, you and your children or any combination of family members it creates a bond that brings joy back into the equation of the relationship.
And this energy shift isn't just psychological; there is an actual physiological change that takes place in the body. When you experience a deep heart felt laugh there is a rapid exchange of oxygen in the respiratory system, the heart beats more rapidly from the movement of the abdominal muscles associated with laughter, and most importantly, endorphins are released. This endorphin rush moves feel good chemicals into the brain which can make everybody in the family see each other with a little more love.
Laughter can also remind all of you of better times when things seemed easier and less overwhelming. This reminder of better times makes it easier to care for each other during the tough times. And when your family can connect and appreciate each other you are able to work together to solve the problems that are facing you.
To bring this energy of laughter and fun back into the family you will have to actively pursue it with each family member responsible for bringing humor into the house. Some ways to do that include:
- Watch funny movies together
- Find a favorite TV comedy that you all watch together
- Share jokes that you hear through friends or online
- Play with your kids
- Have a family game night
- Play with your pets to experience spontaneous laughter.
When you can invite laughter back into the house, the entire family will lighten up and appreciate each other. You might even start to smile with each other more. And remember laughter is contagious. So spread the happiness wherever you go.