06/08/2011 05:50 pm ET | Updated Aug 08, 2011

What I Learned on the Internet: Billboards Aren't The Best Way to Settle Arguments With Ex-Girlfriends

News travels fast on the Internet.

And because of this wonderful invention, humans can figure out who is an a-hole quicker than any other time in history.

Think about it: Back in, say, medieval times, it probably took a few centuries at least to figure out that King Charlemagne was a real douchebag.

Now, thanks to Twitter, we know that Anthony Weiner lives up -- or down -- to his last name in just 140 characters and a twitpic. Oh, if ever a product was so aptly named in this case, it is "twitpic."

But while the Internet has speeded up media scandals faster than ever, sadly, T-shirt manufacturers haven't been able to keep up.

Recently, Time magazine reported on the politician's sex scandals that have inspired T-shirts and while Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Clinton and John Edwards were represented, Weiner didn't make the cut.

Will he inspire a T-shirt? I can't say with certitude (but I can say with certitude that joke has about five days left before it joins "wide stance" and "hanging chad" in the political humor Dumpster).

Weiner showed very bad judgment by using social media to flirt with younger women, and he humiliated his beautiful wife in the process, but while he's a moron, I think his way of communicating his feelings is slightly more evolved than that of New Mexico college student Greg Fultz.

According to, last year Fultz, 36, was dating a woman and got her pregnant. After the relationship ended, so did the pregnancy. The ex, Nani Lawrence, won't say whether she had a miscarriage or abortion, but Fultz decided to turn the experience into the rudest, most privacy-invading "teachable moment" since, uh, Anthony Weiner a few hours earlier.

With the help of an anti-abortion group, Right to Life New Mexico, Fultz put up a billboard reading, with a photograph of himself holding the outline of a baby, which reads, "This Would Have Been a Picture Of My 2-Month Old Baby If The Mother Had Decided To NOT KILL Our Child!"

Unlike what she did to get pregnant in the first place, Lawrence did not take this lying down: She took Fultz to court arguing that the abortion billboard is harassment, as well as accusing him of domestic violence. A domestic violence court commissioner agreed with her and warned Fultz he had to have the billboard removed by June 17.

However, Fultz insists his Constitutional right to free speech allows him to use the billboard to continue to humiliate Lawrence.

Both Weiner and Fultz seem to be missing something when it comes to proper behavior with women. Weiner seems not to care that once you get married, you're only supposed to engage in skeevy, suspect behavior with your wife, and Fultz doesn't realize that when he goes on his next date and she asks what went wrong in his last relationship, she probably won't be impressed when he says, "Oh, she got pissed when I put up a billboard publicly chastizing her for not carrying our child to term."

But help may be on the way for both men in the form of an iPhone app. has a feature on the 10 weirdest iPhone apps and I can't help but feel Weiner and Fultz would both get great use out of the "Honey It's Me!" app, which sends dudes four daily video calls from a winsome 20-something model who has recorded 100 messages, including "Are you still sleeping? Time for breakfast!" and "Good night, sweet dreams."

The creator says he developed the application for men's loneliness, but certainly two creative guys like Weiner and Fultz can come up with new ways to further the application.

Of course, the fact that the woman only speaks Korean shouldn't be a hindrance, and could be an advantage since these guys probably only hear what they want to hear anyway.