by Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. Founder of ShimmerTeen
The Kardashians may seem like your greatest obstacles in empowering your daughter, but they can be some of your greatest allies.
As we barrel through the digital age, we're right to be concerned about media's impact on young women. Girls have more access to media than ever before, and practices that undermine their mental and physical wellbeing remain common in mainstream and amateur programming. The sexualization of women's bodies, the promotion of unattainable beauty ideals and the emphasis on material culture have negative effects on our girls. And, studies have linked the content girls consume to low self-esteem, body image issues and eating disorders.
The Kardashians are not the first or the only celebrities to capitalize on a cultural fascination with beauty, wealth and fame. But their skillful, well-timed use of both traditional media channels and new digital platforms has perhaps made them the most successful at it. And so, among many parents, their name is synonymous with the ways in which media is failing girls today. If you think that a takedown of the Kardashian brand would be the ultimate triumph in creating a better world for girls, you're not alone.
However, while the Kardashians may symbolize and reinforce values you reject, they also provide a significant opportunity to connect with girls, to talk about the issues they're facing in their own lives and to help guide them through the tumult that is American adolescence.
Research shows that parents remain in a position of power to influence the beliefs and behavior of their children, despite the seemingly overwhelming cultural forces at play. Though it may not seem like your daughter is listening to you or that she respects anything you say, studies show that she hears you. Making your own values known and encouraging your daughter to decode the messages she's encountering can eclipse media's negative effects. While you may not enjoy, approve of or be able to control the media your daughter is consuming, you can guide and ground the lessons she takes from it.
Through their show, social feeds and press, the Kardashians provide a constant stream of topics to address with young women, a non-threatening starting point when broaching a variety of complex, sensitive or awkward subjects.
The glitter, selfies, sex and drama of Kardashian living steal the show. You can talk about how the pursuit of fame, $10,000 handbags and cosmetic enhancement treatments fit into your family and community value systems. You can talk about how many link the birth of the show to the release of Kim's sex tape, and you can address the consumer trends ("sex sells") that helped fuel her rise to fame. You can also talk about how celebrities affect fashion and beauty standards and how media images can influence fans' confidence.
But it is also vital to recognize the more "human" aspects of the show (yes, there are many). The sisters are captivating in great part because they are real girls grappling with the same issues girls across this country deal with. (I went to high school with Kim and Khloe. I didn't know them personally, but I can attest to the fact that they have always been a real family, long before they were "reality" stars.) Most young women don't have the Kardashians' fame and material wealth, but they share basic human concerns, emotions, struggles and relationship dynamics.
The Kardashians have weathered the death of a parent, a parent's remarriage, a parent's gender transition. They've navigated changing family structures, breakups, makeups, divorces, sibling spats and addiction struggles. They've worked to stay in shape. They've been cyber-bullied, publicly criticized and body-shamed.
Can your daughter relate? Probably.
In an era when racial tensions are running high, LGBTQ rights are at the center of national debate, and feminism is resurging, Keeping Up With the Kardashians is arguably one of the more diverse, inclusive shows on television. Individuals on the show represent many cultural and racial backgrounds, sexual and gender identities. The protagonists are primarily female.
Does the show reflect aspects of our society? Does it relate to the current events and movements your daughter and her friends are hearing about, thinking about, and questioning? Absolutely.
If you're not a fan, a balanced conversation about the Kardashians might seem like an insufferable and even impossible idea, especially since it means you'll have to watch at least a few episodes and take an interest in your daughter's Instagram feed. The key is opening up two-sided discussions and stating your position while withholding judgment. You may stumble. You may get stonewalled. You may feel crippled from awkwardness and your own lack of "coolness" your first few times. Regardless, you will be influencing your daughter's perception of what she is watching. You're also signaling an openness to future conversations, a key to enhancing communication and closeness with your daughter over time.
Media plays a meaningful role in young women's lives as a source of both entertainment and social education. The Kardashians may not be your favorite role models and the values they represent may conflict with your own. But it's important to remember that we've never gotten anywhere with teenagers by ignoring or belittling the cornerstones of their culture. As the show gets renewed, the spinoffs get picked up, new family websites launch, and the sisters celebrate social media milestones with selfies, the Kardashians remain a force to be reckoned with and a force you can harness for good.
Find Kimberly Wolf, M.Ed. on Twitter @KimberlySWolf
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For more information and resources, visit:
HealthyChildren.org from the American Academy of Pediatrics
Girl Scout Research Institute
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services: Office of Adolescent Health