Another day, another reboot! Look, I love "Jumanji" as much as the next board game apocalypse aficionado, but come on. How about we throw a bone to some of those poor screenwriters toiling away at their original masterpieces. Chances are at least some of them are okay! But if Hollywood insists on going back to the same old wells, maybe they would consider helping me out with a few reboots I've been kicking around.
8. The text exchange in which I sent a screenshot of a conversation to the person with whom I was having the conversation, and then when he was like, "Huh?" instead of saying, "LOL phone being weird," I was like, "Oh NOOOOOOO I was sending that to my sister to ask her if she thought I was doing everything wrong!"
And then he was like, "k."
7. These jeans I have that were the perfect jeans but now every time I wear them I can't sit down because any change of position will disrupt the delicate tensile balance of the butt fabric and cause the jeans to disintegrate.
6. My bottom front tooth. I swear I will wear my retainer this time.
5. Any time I've ever said, "I probably won't need an umbrella today."
4. Any time I've ever said, "And instead of fries, can I have a side salad?"
3. Any time I've ever said, "I'll correct that person who got my name wrong later. Later is better than now for correcting people about your name."
2. The time my first grade teacher brought her guitar to school and played "Puff, The Magic Dragon" and every time she got a note wrong I loudly pointed it out, and at the end of the song I said, "I'm like a net that catches your mistakes!"
1. 3D Doritos.
This post originally appeared on SparkLife.