On the heels of our annual celebration of giving, there is this rapid shift in attention toward 'getting' with the consumer blitz of Black Friday. I heard on the radio that a family actually celebrated their Thanksgiving, picnic style, in the parking lot of a Best Buy to not miss the opening. It made me think of the complementary nature of the world - good and evil, something and nothing, yin and yang, awareness and ignorance - and how we cannot have one without the other.
Our intense consumerism reflects a social obsession with wanting and desire, a perspective of valuing the individual or 'self' over that of others, while Thanksgiving, a day of gratitude and sharing, reflects our social perspective of valuing our connections, that of others more than the self. Life is about moving back and forth from these perspectives; a balanced and happy life is one in which we learn to rapidly re-adjust when we teeter too far in either direction, and therefore, we spend most of our time in the middle. Holding the point in the middle is like balancing a coin on its edge, very difficult to do. Yet seeing the two perspectives as complementary to one another, I can appreciate both views and just work on the 'juggle'.
How we act as individuals defines how we act as a nation. With the current administration, we seem to have a policy of putting us, Americans, ahead of the rest of the world, an obsession with being 'the most powerful', and acting in ways that seem to benefit us at the expense of others. Unfortunately, using war as a means of wielding power is never a means of achieving it. Victory arising from war only leads to funeral rites, whether Islamic, Christian, Jewish or other. As a nation, we continue to act in ways that reflect a striving to be the greatest power on earth, a position that implies great inequality. The 2008 elections will likely be a re-balancing of our national orientation toward a stance of compassionate equanimity rather than war-mongering inequity.
I see that how we act as a nation reflects the individual battles we all wage between these two perspectives of self-oriented versus self-transcendent perspectives. I constantly readjust my behavior as I teeter left or right on this balance board of life. And it becomes a pretty interesting game to play, to keep the board in center, to keep the coin on its edge, to not veer too far in either direction. With the holiday season in full swing, adjustment becomes more challenging - it's like the balance board of daily living is now placed on a sea at hurricane season; the skill for maneuvering a wave requires great attention and a calm attitude to ride with the waves. Staying centered over the season arises through attending to the two perspectives on a day-to-day basis.
To stay centered, increase contemplative time (e.g. listening to music, walking in nature, meditating) to balance the shopping hours; increase behaviors of giving (be vegetarian a few days a week, spend more time and attention with family members, be a little kinder to strangers, listen more - talk less) to balance the actions of getting. To find balance means to look where you are standing and adjust, re-adjust. The holiday season is a great time to practice.
Come back every Thursday for more musings on mindfulness by Susan Smalley.