19 One-Liners That Sum Up Parenthood Perfectly

Parenting is 80% making empty threats & 20% picking up miniature toys on the floor.

— Carbosly (@Carbosly) August 19, 2014

Parenting is basically just listening to yourself talk because nobody else is.

— Court (@Discourt) January 5, 2015

Has anyone ever noticed that parenting is more like an exercise in crisis management?

— Jill Shalvis (@JillShalvis) April 22, 2015

90% of modern parenting is keeping your kids away from your smartphone.

— No Idea: Daddy Blog (@byclintedwards) March 18, 2015

Parenting is juggling chainsaws and wondering why it's so loud and why your shoulders are so sore.

— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) April 22, 2015

90% of parenting is just walking around yelling "WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES? WE'RE ALREADY LATE! FIND YOUR SHOES!"

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) November 22, 2014

Parenting is a conglomeration of everything I've never learned.

— John Willey (@DaddysinCharge) August 28, 2014

88% of parenting is saying "it's bedtime" 150 times between 8:00 and 9:00 every night.

— Sardonic Tart ﾟﾇﾮﾟﾇﾹ (@SardonicTart) April 23, 2015

Parenting is a lot like a Tarantino film. Lot of questions and violent screaming.

— charlie capen (@charliecapen) June 10, 2014

80% of parenting is yelling through a closed bathroom door.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) January 20, 2015

Parenthood is a journey except it's just traveling from room to room putting away the same toys all day long.

— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) April 13, 2015

I am saddened by the fact that I am no longer alarmed when my fingers smell like someone else's poo. This, my friends, is parenting.

— Allana Harkin (@AllanaHarkin) March 15, 2014

Parenting is telling your kid they can't eat the red Skittle that fell on the floor because it's dirty then eating it when they're asleep.

— Shawn Hatosy (@ShawnHatosy) April 21, 2015

Parenting is just a drinking game where you drink wine every time your kid is awful.

— That's Parenting (@ThatsParenting) April 21, 2015

Parenting is 50% love, 10% lies, 10% yelling and 30% unclogging toilets.

— Wonder Woman (@TheSweetestD_) April 11, 2015

Parenting is so easy.

...said no parent ever.

— SCOTT WARNER (@ScottWarner18) April 8, 2015