Got a great place but with no one to share,
Two beds and two baths but no one is there,
What's in my fridge? Iced tea and cold air,
A bachelor's life for me.
Traditional holidays? Got 'em all beat,
My Thanksgiving bird is my dumb parakeet,
Christmas card? That's from my landlord Amit,
A bachelor's life for me.
Going to parties all night and all season,
Walking outside in my shorts when it's freezing,
Guess I'll take care of myself when I'm sneezing,
A bachelor's life for me.
Weekends are starting to all seem the same,
No wife around so I watch every game,
Buffalo Wild Wings knows me by name,
A bachelor's life for me.
Tossing an empty can into the sink,
Avoiding the shower 'til I start to stink.
No woman will put up with that -- do ya think?
A bachelor's life for me.
My clothes are all over, can't see where the floor is,
Don't like it? Well lady, you know where the door is,
Now quiet! I'm watching Bruce Lee fight Chuck Norris,
A bachelor's life for me.
Home improvement? You kidding? Don't even own pliers,
I call Triple A when I need to change tires,
Home Depot has even stopped sending me flyers,
A bachelor's life for me.
The bathroom is covered with Fruit of the Loom,
When my toes start feeling the dirt I vacuum,
Pandora is playing to all empty rooms,
A bachelor's life for me.
Wash dishes at least once a month on my own,
A paperweight gets more calls than my phone.
"Mom, I'm not gay, I just live alone!"
A bachelor's life for me.
Hanging a picture of me on the wall,
Seat up? Seat down? How 'bout no seat at all!
I'm a cat lady with no cats and balls,
A bachelor's life for me.
To rationalize loneliness is my fate,
If I don't fall in love I won't land in hate.
Tell me again what you do on a date?
A bachelor's life for me.
I'm sure I can find a great girl if I look,
I'll learn how to dance, parasail and cook.
Nah, I'll light a cigar and log onto Facebook,
A bachelor's life for me.
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.