If there's one thing most people refuse to tolerate in a relationship, it's catching a partner in a major lie.
On Tuesday, women on the Ask Women board shared some of the most crushing lies their exes have told them in past relationships. Below, 10 of the most surprising lies.
1. He had a secret family.
"He told me he was single. Turns out he was actually married with three children. Found that out after doing a little bit of internet sleuthing."
2. He was jobless.
"My ex got fired from his job for stealing. He pretended to go to work every day as usual.I found out when our roommate pulled some jammed paper out of her printer and found half a page of his resume stuck in there. When we asked him about it, he admitted he'd been fired and hadn't been to work in weeks."
3. He had a not-so-secret affair.
"My last boyfriend was cheating on me while he was studying abroad. He didn't do a very good job covering it up and I called him out on it. He kept lying about it. Then there was a picture of them together on Facebook. I broke up with him and he screamed at me a lot. We tried to work on things extremely briefly ... He didn't understand why I didn't want him being friends with the girl he cheated on me with while we were trying to work on things. Stupid bullet dodged."
4. He lied about still living at home.
"My ex and I were long-distance. He lied for the entire nine months that I knew him that he lived alone when he was really living with his sister and mother. I wouldn't have cared that he was living with his mom, but when I finally made plans to see him at his house and bought the plane tickets he finally admitted to it. In retrospect it was a huge red flag and revealed him as a hugely insecure chump that pretended to be a confident person. Sickening."
5. He lied about who he was at his core.
"It wasn't one lie, it was more about presenting himself to be someone he wasn't: a laid-back, fairly liberal guy who believed in equality, recycling and being non-judgmental. He proved himself to be uptight, extremely jealous, a bit controlling and unusually conservative, and it all came out so gradually that I was up to my neck in love before I realized it. Outcome: I spent a year and a half grappling to come to terms with the fact that even though I loved him, we were ridiculously incompatible. Broke up."
6. He told her he was younger than he was.
"My ex lied about his age for the close to three years I dated him. We started dating when I had just turned 17, and he had supposedly just turned 25 (which is a huge age gap to begin with). I'm not 100 percent sure how I found out that he was actually over 30 when we started dating. At that point I knew I had to leave him, but it took a long time before I could do that because he had emotionally manipulated me so much."
7. He kept the details of their personal finances hidden.
"My ex-husband lied about paying the mortgage every month. I found out when they foreclosed on the house. He lied about getting discharged from the military for two weeks after his actual discharge. He got up early every morning, put on his uniform and let me think he was at work all day. He lied about why we were always so broke. Turns out, he had a gambling problem. He lied about debts he owed. I found out when the utilities were routinely being shut off and collection agencies started showing up at the house."
8. He pretended he didn't know the other woman.
"He told me, 'I don't know who that girl is, and you're crazy' after a random woman came up to us at the grocery store. Later I found out she had sex with him in the front seat of MY car from pictures he had on his phone. This coupled with all of the emails, text messages, and instant messages culminated the end of our 3.5-year relationship. He was screwing around on me the ENTIRE time. Our whole relationship was a lie, he lied about everything."
9. He lied about being Norwegian. (Yes, you read that right.)
"An ex claimed to be Norwegian -- to have been raised there until he was about 14. He backed this up by learning Norwegian so well that he had Norwegian friends who not only believed he was from there, but knew the area he came from by his accent/turns of phrase. Also claimed: to be pagan; to have been in the Norwegian army based in Svalbard for a year; to be incredibly wealthy; to be a year older than he really was."
10. He lied about everything.
"I dated a guy that lied about ALL THE THINGS. Everything you could lie about. He couldnt' even keep his lies straight and told me three different stories about how his mom died and his aunt raised him, but later his aunt was his mom... just bizarre. Lots and lots of lies about his family, who had nothing to do with him because he was a pathological liar. He lied about having stomach cancer, to the point of me bringing him to the hospital, being there for hours, then he left against medical advice (he told me) but actually there was nothing at all wrong with him ... I am a much better judge of character today but I came by it the hard way."
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