To my fellow Football Fan,
You must have been so excited to go to a football bowl game. You got dressed up in your warm "game-gear", met up with your girlfriends to cheer on your favorite team and headed to the stadium.
After a thrilling first-half, you must have turned to your girlfriends and said,
I have to go to the bathroom!
You had a lot of game-day energy as you entered the bathroom and boisterously announced,
I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM....NOW!
This is when you so-confidently decided to start kicking in the bathroom stalls (because waiting your turn in the bathroom line must have never crossed your mind!) You started with the bathroom stall closest to the entrance and proceeded to forcefully kick one-after-the-other. To your dismay, none of the stalls opened.
Then you came upon my stall. You must have felt really fierce by now. You picked up your foot, raised it up in the air and launched it into my door. To your surprise, the door swung open! This is when you stood there in shock, I bet, analyzing your super-strong leg strength!
Then, you watched a confused, dazed young lady (me) stumbling out of the stall (which I do not have any memory of), with a gash in the middle of her forehead.
My guess is, you were a bit surprised by the site of her. You continued to stand in the bathroom with your girlfriends, watching the young lady on the floor as a crowd of good Samaritans started to gather around her. Maybe this is when the good Samaritans started to give you heated eyes, so perhaps you motioned to your friends to run out of the bathroom. I wonder if this is when you hid (cowardly) back in your seat at the stadium, all bundled up in your warm coat, with a cold beer in your hand and enjoyed the rest of the game while gloating on how strong your leg was. I bet you felt tough!
Well, guess what tough lady? That was NOT cool!
If you ever wondered what happened to me after you kicked in my door, then I thought I would share the following events:
I laid on the bathroom floor with a fellow fan by my side (who happened to be a nurse) who helped get my gash under control. She found my husband (thank goodness!) who was waiting for me outside the bathroom. Finally, the stadium paramedics arrived and wheeled me on a medical cart (a huge embarrassing scene) through a crowd of nosey spectators. After some triage treatment at the stadium medical station, my husband took me to the ER, where my forehead gash was glued. I was in good shape. It could of been a lot worse, but nonetheless, I now will forever have a scar on my face as a reflection of your foolish behavior.
And in the case your mother didn't teach you proper etiquette tips for the public restroom, I thought I would share with you the following:
- When you go to a public bathroom, the polite thing to do is wait your turn, until an stall opens up.
You could also use your voice and ask if anyone is in the stall before opening.
Just some friendly reminders on how you could handle yourself in a public bathroom next time.
Hope you enjoyed the rest of the game!
Your fellow Football Fan,
Jenn
Originally published in Scottsdale Moms Blog.