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9 Things That Help Me See The Upside In A Divorce I Didn't Want

Nothing like a girls' night out to help you get over your ex.
By 

Senior Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost

nesharm via Getty Images

If there's ever a time you need a little distraction in your life, it's during the divorce process. That's why we launched our Divorce Care Package series. With each post, we'll show you what things -- books, movies, recipes -- helped others relieve stress in the midst of divorce, in the hopes that a few of their picks will serve you well too. Want to share what got you through your divorce? Email us at divorce@huffingtonpost.com.

Writer Shari Lifland and her husband separated one week before their 29th wedding anniversary. Though Lifland says the decision to end the marriage wasn't hers, midway through the divorce process, she's made her peace with it.

"I've learned how to let go of the anger and resentment I initially felt toward it," Lifland told The Huffington Post. "My ex is a pretty good guy and I genuinely wish him well."

Below, Lifland, who blogs about the end of her marriage at Nobody's Bringing Me Casseroles, shares nine things that have made the divorce process easier to bear, including zany Snapchats from her 24-year-old son.

The Quotes
Canva
"Two quotes from American writer and mythologist Joseph Campbell continue to resonate: 'We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.' And, 'It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.' Campbell reminds me that what I once thought was the absolute worst thing that ever happened to me (the end of my marriage) may well turn out to be the best."
The App
Shari Lifland
"Snapchat is the best app for someone going through a divorce. A crazy personalized photo or video from my son never fails to cheer me up, even this one, where he appears to be vomiting his love for me."
The Book
Amazon
"The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams by Deepak Chopra. Dr. Chopra’s definition of success includes not only material abundance, but 'good health, energy and enthusiasm for life, fulfilling relationships, creative freedom, emotional and psychological stability, a sense of well-being, and peace of mind.' When I read it, I thought, sign me up!"
The Personal Mantra
Jodie Griggs via Getty Images
"In moments of doubt after the separation, I'd ask myself, 'Do you know how many people would trade your very worst day for their day -- in a heartbeat?' I cried a lot and had many what I call 'poor me' days (and that’s OK). But my mantra always got me up and running and feeling grateful."
The Do-Good Activity
Ezra Bailey via Getty Images
"As a professional writer, I naturally began writing about separation and divorce. My goal was to provide useful advice and support to others but as always, when you give, you get even more in return. When I told a friend that after a fairly short period of time I had managed to not only forgive my husband, but genuinely wish him well, she asked how I did it. I realized that I started believing what I wrote! My post, 'Getting Divorced? 6 Ways You Have to ‘Let It Go’ helped me as much as it helped others."
The TV Show
TLC What Not To Wear Official Facebook Page
“TLC’s 'What Not to Wear.' On the surface, 'WNTW' is just a fun makeover show that provides some welcome escapist entertainment. But on a deeper level, what they're actually changing is a person’s outlook -- the way she sees herself, her life and her possibilities. It's empowering."
The Splurge
Monthian
"A tummy tuck. A long-ago C-section, followed by too many weight gains and losses, left me with a roll of stomach flab that I hated -- and that no amount of exercise could eliminate. I decided if I had to start a new life after nearly 30 years of marriage, I was going to do it with a flat stomach! It was my biggest indulgence."
The Distraction
knape
"Ladies' nights at my place. I love my girlfriends, I love my backyard and I love a good cocktail. Rather than sit home alone hosting my own private pity party, I invite my friends over once in a while (always on a week night, so it doesn’t interfere with their couples’ commitments), asking each guest to bring something to eat or drink. Instant cheer!"

More From HuffPost:

Quotes About Letting Go

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