10 Porn Positions That Don't Work In Real Life

Apr 18, 2014 | Updated Apr 18, 2014
Alina Solovyova-Vincent via Getty Images

You know those scenes in action movies where the main character throws a match into a puddle of gasoline and causes an amazingly huge explosion? And you're like, "Yeah, OK, that's cool, but I saw that episode of Myth Busters and I know that wouldn't work in real life." Pretty much every porn scene is an intercourse equivalent of throwing a match in a puddle of gasoline. Also, even though this features beautiful watercolor renditions of the most eye-rolling porn positions, this is still super NSFW unless you work in porn.

1. Stand and Carry

In real life, at best, THIS ends with everyone's forearms feeling like they're about to fall off, and at worst, with the dude's back breaking like a twig. This pretty much goes for standing 69s also. Get that shit out of here, homie. Sex shouldn't be work, it should be sex. Instead of doing this, just lie down and pass out on top of each other like Sting does with tantric sex or whatever. That sounds lazy as hell and way more appealing.

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