A few weeks ago, I committed a grave error in judgement: I announced on twitter that I still don't get quinoa. Responses ranged from "no but you have to try it in a salad" (which, guys, of course I've tried it in a salad, a salad is quinoa's natural habitat) to simply, "f*** you." So listen, before you tell me that I just need to try it as a breakfast cereal simmered with coconut milk, or cooked into scones, or whatever, please know this: I have tried quinoa all of the ways I am going to try quinoa. The truth is -- my truth is -- quinoa is weird.
When I was kid, I had a "Make Your Own Layered Candle" kit. It came with tiny bags filled with tiny pellets of colored wax. That is what I see, smell, taste, feel and hear when I eat quinoa. I don't think there is an amount of coconut milk on earth that can change it. Quinoa is not only weird, it might also be making a portion of the planet totally miserable, suddenly having found that what was once their staple grain is getting shipped off to America so that we can all enjoy our complete proteins and coconut milk. According to The Guardian, in Lima, quinoa is now more expensive than chicken. If you can live with that, please enjoy your healthy wax pellets. If not, here are a bunch of quinoa alternatives that are totally delicious, also great for you and aren't ruining an indigenous culture's access to their traditional food.
There was life after kale, there will be life after quinoa. We promise.
Amaranth is actually a seed, high in protein and amino acids.
Wheat berries are the whole wheat grain, still intact with zero processing.
Most harvested barley goes into the beer-making process. Grab some before that happens and eat it.
Couscous is just tiny granules of semolina (also known as durum wheat).
Spelt is a species of wheat, high in protein and fiber.
Freekeh (which has been called the next super-grain) is wheat that has been harvested when it's young and green, then roasted to concentrate the flavor.
Millet is an ancient seed that has been made into porridge and noodles for at least the last 4,000 years.
Bulgur is a whole wheat that has been cleaned, parboiled, dried, ground and sorted into distinct sizes. This makes it super quick and easy to cook.
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