"Love is the energy that makes the world revolve." Or is it, "What's love got to do with it?" As a child, love was not a word that I ever heard addressed to me, much less experienced. Yet today I can say with conviction that indeed love is what promotes happiness, action, and transforms obstacles into opportunities.
To have loving relationships with others you have to start with loving yourself. As an unwanted child, I hungered for love. I did everything I thought would bring me love, or at least attention. I tried to behave as I thought they wanted me to, study hard, do as I was told, be responsible, and don't ask for or expect much of anything. And in spite my best efforts I got rejection and ridicule. Fundamentally I was regarded as unlovable because I was a girl, and my parents wanted a boy.
Thankfully I had a champion, my grandfather, Ah Yeh. My grandfather gave me my Chinese name, Hay Lit, which were the names of two Chinese emperors. Ah Yeh never shared why he gave me such an unusual name, especially for a girl child; he died when I was 7 years old. What I held deep in my heart was that he must have thought that I was worthwhile, that I was going to be somebody one day. This belief kept me from hating and belittling myself. I was convinced that I must have value since this venerable man gave me the same name as two illustrious and respected historic figures.
You, too, have people in your life who believe in you, who think you are special. Bring those people into your consciousness now; let that feeling of support fill your every cell. Breathe in the trust and encouragement. Let that warmth strengthen and surround you. Use that to comfort and energize you whenever you are scared or lonely. You are loved and are worthy of love, especially your own.
Loving myself and trusting that I was born for a reason, and that I have a purpose in the world, kept me going. That faith propelled me to leave my home in Hong Kong as a teen, to come to the USA alone to go to school so that I can make a difference in the world. I can gratefully say that I am now enjoying a life filled with love, happiness and more success than I ever dreamed possible.
"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." -- Lucille Ball
And so it is for you: Do you want love in your life? Start by appreciating and being kind to yourself. Know that you have a unique life purpose that only you can do. You were born for a good reason.
Are you your own worst critic? Ouch! Learn from your mistakes but don't beat yourself down. Pause, look for the opportunities and the lessons in the situation when you are feeling challenged and unloved.
Reach out to help others when you are feeling lonely. Encourage people who need support when you are experiencing dismay or needing help. When you do for others what you wish to happen for you, almost instantly your own perspective and world start to improve. Your act of sharing and caring prompts the release of endorphins and positivity that you were looking for. Energetically you send the message out that indeed good can develop now.
Reaching out connects you with others who oftentimes can assist you with what you need. Kindred spirits bond and before you know it you're happier and loving life and yourself more. People are more attractive when they are happy with himself or herself. And being out and socializing increases your chances of meeting simpatico souls, including your soul mate.
Indeed love is the power that moves people, businesses and mountains. During this month dedicated to love, do something that you love. Something fun and fulfilling for you. Small things like smiling and thanking the cashier at the checkout counter, making a donation to a favorite charity, attending a spiritual service, singing or dancing, and any other small emotional and physical stretch that connects you back to humanity. You'll find yourself happier with yourself and more love will flow into your heart and life. Here's to love and you!
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead." -- Oscar Wilde
Marilyn Tam grew up as an abused and neglected child in Hong Kong. She found her life purpose at age 11 when she found out as bad as her life was; she was much better off than her classmate, Rebecca. Wanting to help others and to right the wrongs, she left home as a teen to come to America alone to study. She became a business leader (CEO Of Aveda, President of Reebok and Vice President of Nike) and a global humanitarian. She shares in her latest book, "The Happiness Choice" how you can live a life of happiness, health and success. It's her way of giving back to the world for all the blessings she's received.