Let it be said, winter is not only very cold but can also be quite lonely. First, you have to get through the darkest period of the year... the glorious holidays. While many others are gathering together to share tales of holidays past, exchanging gifts they couldn't afford and destroying the diets they had worked so hard to maintain the summer before, the single person has to observe it all from the side wings. Not being with family isn't always so bad, but sharing a New Year's toast with the super who's frantically trying to stoke the endangered boiling system of your building, isn't exactly the stuff of 40s musicals.
Then there's the surge of last minute online dating services that clog up your emails with promises of true love by spring on the six month plan (no mathematicians, these matchmakers). Soon other desperate singles, hoping to fulfill their New Year's promise to themselves and their friends, are IM-ing you just when you're in the middle of a deep study of alien invasion conspiracies, or the Wag the Doggification of everything political that's happening around the globe. You just can't be interrupted.
Why let winter eat your heart out? Avoid the drama and get a dog.
Could you even imagine how pleasantly hypnotic it is to sit in front of the old, non-flat screen and watch the DVD of a crackling fireplace with little Walter curled up by your toes? It's perfect, as he couldn't carry in the logs anyway. Ah, but his peacefully closed eyelids and only slightly buzzy snoring are a great comfort as the gales blow through the air conditioning vents.
Then there's the intimacy of ordering in dinner for you and your friend. No need to fight over which Thai place is better... Flossie will eat anything that doesn't devour her first, except, of course, baby corn. But a little piece of chicken satay (minus the peanut sauce) will go a long way in keeping your love bug happy.
While others may be knitting sweaters for their boys in the army (ok -- that's a 40s musical) you're beginning to think of making flannel booties for your four-legged friend. After experiencing the high pitched screams emitted from their otherwise docile mouths, after stepping on New York City Snow Salt, you will do anything to prevent their misery and your embarrassment as a potential abusive parent. You quickly run to the dog emporium only to find that the balloon-like rubber booties are harder to put on than a condom (memory trip here) and that Darling just won't cooperate with you doing it four times.
Instead, you spend hours slushing through the streets, talking to other dog parents to find out what they do. This could end up in a coffee, but more than likely, you're running off to see if they have any of the Sherpa boots left at Petomania.
Ah, now home again and taking the cue from Oscar, you decide that bedtime comes sooner than later. No mouth wash, hair comb, or cologne; you just fall like the day you were born, smelly, tired and au natural. Cause Pompom is already there, keeping your spot warm (just try and dislodge that furry behind ) and soon, you will have your two inches, and they will have the whole rest of the bed. And that's how it should be. When you're not single.