Dating is tough. For everyone involved.
There's the pressure of being "on" for the person sitting right next to you at the wine bar.
There are, of course, your friends, who either set you up on the date to begin with, or vicariously lived through your planning and wardrobe woes (or just really want you to stop being the "single" person at their couples' gatherings).
There are your parents, whether they know about your date or not, because they 1. want you to be happy, of course. 2. want grandchildren, of course.
And we can't forget about you: you just sacrificed a Friday night. You put yourself out there, at least to some degree. You endured the ambiguous social dance at the end of the date with the goodbye, which can mean "goodbye... FOREVER," or "until next time," or "you will receive a text message from me in 15 minutes," or "I'm going to kiss you now," or "I'm going to kill you now."
At 26, after several months of being what I like to call "tastefully promiscuous," I hit a wall. I didn't like anyone I was going out with. I was going out with them because I thought it was supposed to do. What I wanted to do was just have a boyfriend. All of my friends already had a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or a fiancé, or a spouse. I didn't feel like doing the work of getting to know someone and recapping my evening to some seven-odd people, until we hit a snag in what it was each of us were looking for, and one or both of us (him) walked away in slow-motion.
Once I quit going out with guys I knew I was never going to connect with, I realized that what I want is intimacy and comfort. I want appreciation. I want a fun challenge.
That's where The Big Spoon Search came in. Part game, part interview, I invited (initially) 15 "guys" to come over to my apartment where a crew was waiting, and we'd lie in my bed for 30 minutes or so. Some of them I knew really well; others I'd never laid eyes on.
As this project grows and evolves, I want volunteers. I want nominations for new potential big spoons. I want viewers to give input on which spoon they liked, and would like to see again.
I am of course a realist: I am fairly confident that this project is not going to land me a boyfriend. But I hope that in watching these interviews, people identify with the struggle of finding someone, the ups and downs of a first date, and the way in which our culture rushes into things way too quickly.
I'm going to introduce you to Juan now. He's from Uruguay. I hope you enjoy.