I spend a lot of time in the gym, either training myself, my clients, or throwing around ideas and weights with other trainers. One of the best things about my job is the variety of people with whom I come into contact. I love the diversity, the personalities and the eccentricities; it keeps things fresh and fun.
As a trainer, it's important to bring a positive attitude to work for your clients, so for the most part, I keep quiet about the more annoying, bizarre and flat out inappropriate behavior I witness. However, after logging over 5,000 hours of client training and countless more in the gym, there are a few things I have to get off my chest, and I'd encourage you add your own gym grievances in the comments section below. Let's call it solicited unsolicited feedback. But, me first.
1. Guys
There's a place for Lycra. Spin class perhaps, or maybe running through the park in winter. At the gym though, no one wants or needs to see the outline of your junk. Cover yourself up. The same goes for board shorts -- they belong at the beach. And sandals: seriously?
2. Girls
Admittedly, bras are not my area of expertise, however, I am aware that sports bras exist, and now you are too! I'm also reliably informed that they make them in a multitude of sizes, even ones that fit you. So for the sake of my eyesight and your back, give one a try, unless of course you are immune to the force of gravity.
3. Personal Trainers
We're here to inspire and motivate, so for starters, how about throwing on some clothes you didn't sleep in? Jeans? NO! Also, be in shape. If you're training with a trainer who looks out of shape, guess what? They're probably out of shape!
4. 3-Gallon Water Bottles
Do I really have to talk about this? I'm all for hydration, but lugging and chugging 3 gallons over the course of a workout seems a little extreme. It looks ridiculous, and no one wants to wait for 20 minutes at the water fountain while you fill it up, even if your oversized neon tiger print MC hammer pants are providing entertaining viewing.
5. Rolled Up Sweat Pants
So you've put on a pair of sweats and then you've decided that you're going to roll them up to mid-calf or just below the knee creating some kind of weird clam digger/capri pant hybrid? What?! No. There's a crazy new fashion craze sweeping the country: shorts. Get on board.
6. Sunglasses
Maybe if you removed them you would realize that you are, in fact, indoors. Oh you've moved them up to the top of your head! Excellent -- that's a great look for anyone.
7. Neon
Just to reiterate, we are inside, not cycling after dark on the West Side Highway or the PCH. The odds of you being hit by a semi-truck or a 90-year-old driving a Lexus are fairly slim. One item of neon clothing is more than adequate to brighten up your gym look. More, and you end up looking like an accident in a paint factory.
8. Sweating
1. Why not try it; you might like it.
2. Then, try wiping it up instead of turning every bench and machine you touch into a slip n' slide.
9. LV
Particularly popular in West Hollywood: carrying your oversized monogrammed Louis Vuitton "gym" bag from machine to machine as you go. I see you, I see your bag, I see the locker room. I also see that lifting the bag is the most strenuous exercise you're doing today.
10. Nipples
I don't want to see them while I'm working out and neither does anyone else.
11. Make Up
Bless you for coming to the gym at 7 a.m. in full make up. Not just full make up, full on "I'm a Kardashian on her wedding day" make up. Did you come straight from the club, or did you sleep like that? Who knows? In fairness, carrying around the weight of your fake eyelashes looks pretty grueling, and at least by blocking every pore on your face you'll save time wiping away sweat.
12. Ab Check
A shout out to the guys checking on their abs every 30 seconds; nothing has changed! They look the same as they did when you put on whatever scrap of material you're wearing that barely qualifies as a tank top (see nipple comment above). Lifting your shirt, rubbing your abs and pouting does not constitute a workout. If however, you're abs are exceptional, carry on.
13. Headphones
Your headphones should never be larger than your head. That's all.
You know what though, I take it all back. Keep doing what you're doing, I think I'd miss it if it were gone...
-- Jamie Galloway