A few years back, a survey discovered that eight out of 10 women over the age of 50 believe they are "invisible" to members of the opposite sex. Although everyone has to confront the signs of aging -- whether it be a new wrinkle or an achy joint -- invisibility is different. Feeling invisible is a feeling that you are no longer a vital, desirable person in the eyes of those around you.
In the same vein, one of our bloggers, Arlene Schindler, wrote earlier this month about how she feels invisible when walking down the street now that she's a woman in her 50s. People pass by her, she says, without nary a glance in her direction. It's no surprise, then, that she also believes no one wants to date a midlife woman either.
The reaction on Facebook to Schindler's piece was staggering. Some readers felt a kinship with Schindler, agreeing that they, too, feel discouraged by a lack of attention after 50.
"I am totally invisible... even to the old hairy geezers. I cannot tell you how many times I've had a bank or store door slammed in my face by the ignorant male in front of me just because I'm not 20 years old, blonde and with humungous boobs," wrote Patricia Rezzonico. "And when I'm standing in line? It's like I'm not even there. Ever try going to Home Depot and asking a man for help? Hah! And two of my younger female co-workers have told me in the past, 'Nobody wants you... you're too old and you can't have children,' followed by, 'Nobody want you, they want someone young like me'."
Other readers, though, argue that people pick up on a woman's feelings about herself, no matter what their age. In order to get noticed, a woman just needs to exude confidence and a positive attitude.
"It all begins with you... in your brain... and it is all up to you... whether or not to drink the Kool-Aid of age restraints that affect every aspect of living... from being successful, productive and sexual at any age," wrote Theresa LaSalle. "That is what people pick up on... how you see yourself. Therefore empower yourself... by being the best you can be... and then discard how people who are unenlightened view you. Poor them."
No doubt the subject of invisibility after 50 strikes a nerve. Here's what a few other readers had to say about feeling invisible after 50. Their responses may surprise you. What do you think? Let us know in comments.
1) "Oh hell no... I was 50 when I married my totally hot husband, three years younger," wrote Jacqueline Reilly Black.
2) "I don't feel invisible at all. Choose men who don't want children. It worked for me," wrote Nancy Andersen.
4) "I have men my age eyeing me at 55. Gives me an ego boost especially when I hate the wrinkles," said Deb Hancock Tullos.
5) "I never feel invisible because I dress in vibrant colors the whole year… can't miss me… LOL! I even get compliments on the street, especially on grey rainy days, and that's from men and women!" wrote Cheryl Ann LaValais.
7) "It's a very freeing experience for me. I just want to be looked at as another human being and not someone's (fill in the blank)," wrote Michelle Ethridge.
8) "Don't wear drabby black or neutral colored clothing on the street or shopping. But, sadly, sometimes it's still not enough," wrote Terri McCall.
10) "If Sophia Loren can get men to look, so can you> Remake yourself to be awesome," wrote Kate Blake.
12) "This is a reallllllly old, worn out line of thinking and simply not truth. Look around you! Grab life and live!" wrote Carmen Quall.
13) "I get more attention from way younger men than anyone my age," wrote Sherrill Cochran Hubbard.
14) "It sounds like you're in a Cave Man world there. There are plenty of good men out there, you're just in the wrong place (physically and mentally)," wrote Linda Bradford.