Can we get rid of this two week hiatus--and move on over to 1/04/10? Do we need the time off that badly? Am I Scrooge-worthy? Or am I just sensible?
It's last call for the decade and I have had enough. To stop and "celebrate" anything after the year we've been through seems like a Major Mistake. So I'm boycotting the holidays this year--send money but no presents--and will sit on my couch watching reruns in the half-light, trying to think positive thoughts, hoping upon hope that the winter we just stepped into is not one of discontent. Because all I have to say at this point is: enough.
Unfeeling marketers who extol us to Live Better andSpend Wisely and Get Green once made us laugh, but that was when we had extra cash. Now even the richest among us are rubbing pennies together for warmth. The pedantic attitude of people paid to tell us to buy gifts for people we barely spoke to all year makes me wonder did humanity take a dive during that year when the Great Recession started and no one in the Government told us about it?
You say, "Well, wait a second; I spoke to a lot of people!" Yeah yeah I know. We co--mmun--ic--ated all year long. SMS'd and tweeted and Facebooked and Ning'd and Flickr'd and sent half-assed notes via antiquated email we are tethered to (don't try to hide your AOL addresses--I can look them up). But answer this: Did you spend any quality time with them "for reals"?, Or were those moments you gave up between staring at your lap where the iPhone says someone wanted 'u' to know something?
This is not an emotional connection, it's doing something with time--period. We could be closer, but we're not. Everything we hear about is some sort of an event. We should be experiencing life, but we're too busy quipping via text message. We used to be, but used to be's don't count anymore. I heard Neil Diamond say that.
Let me make a bargain with those devil worshippers who must have a little Christmas: It's about 365 days until Christmas 2010. So let's have a gigantic one next year after a fabulous 2010 when we got some work done, were paid a real wage for our wares, and the nation's buyers started writing checks for real money instead of discounting every little thing!
All this talk about needing a break--from what I do not know. Our work? (Did we do so much less work that it wore us out?) Congress? (Can you change those tools--well you can next year!) The Tiger Woods Drama? (Marx Brothers box sets have better plots.) Our heartache over not making tons of cash? (Not a good enough excuse.) Perhaps we need a rest because we were so-o affected by those horrible celebrity deaths? (And you care why?)
I doubt we need to take time off as much as we think we do to get past this crappy year of sadmaking hardship and extreme bitterness. It's been a tough road, we all know, and to think we might slow down and get sidetracked scares the pants off me (and my pants were expensive; I bought them online). Most of us we had the first quarter off anyway while everyone sat on hands waiting for something fine to happen and bemoaning a fate that might only come back to do wohse damage if we're not super careful.
Can we agree that Christmas '09 was here and gone? When Lowes says Let's Build Something Together, could they have meant a bonfire to toss in all those unsigned cards that administrative assistants sent us this year? it doesn't have to happen. I even think Baby Jesus would be okay this once. See, distractions got us all into trouble this year--we lost like two days because of Michael Jackson and the propofol. All those mighty, worthless distractions that slam us into a 'whoah' state on Google News and Tweet Trends stop us from getting any work done. It puts bad thoughts in these undulating heads. No, Virginia, the recession ain't over. We need to stop paying attention to stats that shout "2 jobs were filled" -- we're at five minutes to 12 until the Breadline opens.
Unlesss...unless... we rise up: "No, no, no. I'm not going to take 10 days off and sit back and drink homogenized egg nog and put up K-Mart brand mistletoe and send gifts to folks I can't stand but I kind of have to." I for one will use these schedule-less days to meditate on how from now on I will refuse to talk to--and do business with--those annoying types who say "Nope. Never. It can't be done."
Because it can be done. We push aside the fake celebrating and revert to real life. We can do it. It's a necessity. Bla bla bla. More cheering. For the record, none of this is supposed to be naysaying because I believe in my heart that Christmas can wait. Because if we don't get some work done right this very second, you can greet the new decade:
Welcome, the 10's... a span that will live in infamy since it sold us right into the ground!
Tweet me @laermer. Let's talk again in January and compare notes. And how rude of me: Happy Festivus.
Book on the future? 2011: Trendspotting for the Next Decade