Back to School TV Swag for Your Homicidal, Adulterous 3rd Grader

We've created a few (totally fake, sadly not-for-sale) examples to send your child back to school feeling confident about their identity as well as the integrity of that peanut butter and fluff sandwich that you packed with loving care, and with the intent of surviving an ATV crash into the side of a brick building.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
Lunch boxes are displayed at an exhibit called "Lunch Hour NYC" at the New York Public Library in New York, Wednesday, July 11, 2012. "Lunch Hour NYC" transports visitors back in time with sections and artifacts from the library's vast collection on street foods, home lunches, school lunches and the once popular Horn & Hardart Automats.(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)
Lunch boxes are displayed at an exhibit called "Lunch Hour NYC" at the New York Public Library in New York, Wednesday, July 11, 2012. "Lunch Hour NYC" transports visitors back in time with sections and artifacts from the library's vast collection on street foods, home lunches, school lunches and the once popular Horn & Hardart Automats.(AP Photo/Seth Wenig)

Long before they became the ironic purse of choice for Brooklyn hipsters, the school lunch box gave elementary school students one of their first opportunities for individual self-expression. (That and truancy. And then driving an ATV directly into social studies class. But we grew up in the South.)

Selecting the right lunch box was (and is) the childhood version of picking out your Facebook profile picture -- it's not just about who you are. It's about how you want to be seen by the world.

While the use of high-tech, insulated lunch bags has threatened to overtake the entire industry in recent years, there remains a dedicated faction of lunchanistas committed to the traditional box style concept. Lunch boxes are sturdier, look cooler and can double as a shield in your child's next dodge ball game or food fight.

All lunch boxes really need is a pop culture update. We've created a few (totally fake, sadly not-for-sale) examples to send your child back to school feeling confident about their identity as well as the integrity of that peanut butter and fluff sandwich that you packed with loving care, and with the intent of surviving an ATV crash into the side of a brick building.

Ron Swanson -- Parks & Recreation

Back to School TV Swag For Your Homicidal, Adulterous 3rd Grader

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot