What's with today, today? April 8 is Rex Manning Day, a holiday created to commemorate the film "Empire Records."
The one-crazy-day comedy -- which focuses on a ragtag group of record store employees, the tyranny of chain stores and the power of Gin Blossoms and The Flying Lizards -- was released in October of 1995, making this the 18th Rex Manning Day in recorded history. But we mustn't dwell on numbers like that. No, not today. Not on Rex Manning Day.
To celebrate this year's Rex Manning Day, HuffPost Entertainment has decided to shock you (shock you, shock you) with some deviant behavior: an imagined 2014 version of "Empire Records," featuring some of today's brightest stars. We'll say no more, mon amour, and get to the fake casting:
Shailene Woodley as the Corey Mason (originally played by Liv Tyler)
Jennifer Lawrence as the Gina (originally played by Renee Zellweger)
Aubrey Plaza as Debra (originally played by Robin Tunney)
Skylar Astin as the A.J. (originally played by Johnny Whitworth)
Ezra Miller as the Lucas (originally played by Rory Cochrane)
Lucas Cruikshank as Mark (originally played by Ethan Embry)
Adam Driver as Berko (originally played by Coyote Shivers)
Emory Cohen as Warren (originally played by Brendan Sexton III)
Kieran Culkin as Eddie (originally played by James "Kemo" Wills)
Jake Johnson as Joe (originally played by Anthony LaPaglia)
Amanda Setton as Jane (originally played by Debi Mazar)
and ...
Alec Baldwin as sexy Rexy himself, Rex Manning (originally played by Maxwell Caulfield)