The Ugly Truth About Convention Coupling

Don't get so carried away with the liberating "18 million cracks in the ceiling" of politics that you assume this newfound bastion of equality extends into bedroom politics as well. Because it doesn't.
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As you read this, the white-hot lights of the world are poised on the Invesco Field at Mile High Stadium, creating the perfect diversion for a Ladies Only Public Service Announcement on Convention Coupling.

(For those with pristine halos, Convention Coupling is the practice of hooking up with that special someone when you're away from home on assignment, usually covering a seminar or work retreat of some sort. Not all professionals do this, of course. Typically, convention coupling is the pastime of the really young executives, or the suddenly single folks, especially those temporarily residing in the Heartbreak Hotel.)

So here's the warning:

Don't let a hot mic catch you making out, ladies.

Don't e-mail that hunky Denver bartender a memento from last night.

And don't get so carried away with the liberating "18 million cracks in the ceiling" of politics that you assume this newfound bastion of equality extends into bedroom politics as well.

Because it doesn't. None of those 18 million cracks are in the ceiling of your bedroom, or your Denver hotel room for that matter, as far as your career is concerned.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, has changed in regard to the sexual double standard for us professional women.

In the old days--as my friends tell me--a single convention coupler could alter her nametag, carry an extra cell phone and have the time of her life in some faraway town--and still return to the home office with her professional image and reputation intact.

But that was the stone age--we are living in the tech age now, girlfriends, and these are not the best of times for those wishing to keep their romps under the radar.

Make no mistake--your delightful convention coupling experience will hit the streets--and internet superhighway--light years before you make it home, if we are to believe the DNCC press release touting the convention as the most "technologically-savvy event of its kind."

Nowadays, you must be diligent about guarding your reputation with your life in the face of the DNC's bloggers, streaming video coverage, Spanish-language simulcast, daily webcasts, Video on Demand, viewer customized camera angles, and more gotcha, gotcha, gotcha technology.

All it takes is one hot and heavy hookup with a loose-lipped Denver hottie, who, in turn, texts his buddy your pic (and the pertinent details), who, in turn, shoots an email over to his favorite blogger, who, in turn, posts the scoop and photographic proof of you on his various social websites. And you, in turn, could be "outed" before room service arrives.

Let's face it, in this new age of new media everybody seems to know your name--even if you've never met them--and that spells the slow death of Convention Coupling anyway.

(And yes, my dear, it is a conspiracy.)

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