Surely someone reading this knows Mitt Romney, or knows someone who knows Mitt Romney.
Would you do me the courtesy of forwarding this open letter?
Dear Mitt,
It's time to run for president.
The current choice of candidates, from many perspectives, is disheartening.
While I admire Hillary Clinton's lifelong commitment to children, fairness, and progressive politics in general, even her most ardent supporters must acknowledge her shortcomings.
Trump? A dumpster fire. Don't even ask.
But those don't have to be the nation's only options.
The Twelfth Amendment provides you with a surprisingly easy glide path to the White House.
All you really have to do is announce.
You don't have to win a majority of electoral votes to become president.
And I'm not suggesting that you run as a protest candidate, the 2016 equivalent of Ralph Nader in 2000, siphoning off Republican votes and installing Clinton in the White House.
Chances are, no matter how bumbling, ignorant, divisive, and alienating Trump will remain, he will still capture a significant number of states, including, likely, some key swing states.
But if you ran, he wouldn't capture enough states to win.
Mitt, that's the beauty of the Twelfth Amendment.
You wouldn't have to win outright, either.
All you have to do is win a handful of states.
Maybe even just Utah, which you could win by announcing, getting on the ballot, and then going out and walking the dog.
If you win just enough electoral votes to keep either Clinton or Trump from reaching the magic number of 270, the presidential election then goes to the House of Representatives.
This isn't wishful thinking; these are the dictates of the Twelfth Amendment.
Said Amendment states that in the event that no candidate receives a majority of electoral votes, the top three recipients of electoral votes--this would include you--become the only three candidates from which the House of Representatives must choose.
I'm not talking about the House that's elected this coming November. It would be the current House that gets to decide.
Mitt, the House of Representatives is (currently) in Republican hands.
The Twelfth Amendment requires the representatives to vote state by state.
In other words, a Republican is going to win.
It could be you.
It should be you.
All you have to do is run.
Get on the ballot in, say, ten deep red states.
Utah and its neighbors for starters.
It doesn't have to be a fifty state campaign.
Take a leaf from the Donald's playbook.
You could win those states just by calling into the talk shows, social media, and speeches in front of friendly audiences.
You wouldn't even have to raise television money.
Not that you'd have a hard time doing so.
There are a lot of folks out there who don't like either Clinton or Trump and are sitting on their checkbooks this election period.
I admit it--I had higher hopes for Donald Trump.
Whether he entered the campaign as a lark, or an ego trip, or both, I truly believed that winning the nomination would have a sobering effect on the man.
Could I have been more wrong?
As the expression goes, he never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
Clinton was all but indicted, and certainly tarnished, by the inspector general's report on her email, and then the FBI report.
Where was Trump at those critical moments?
Belittling a second generation Mexican-American judge, defending his "University," defending against allegedly anti-Semitic tweets, going to Scotland and speaking gibberish about Brexit, and suddenly being held accountable by a liberal media, protective of Hillary, for his pro-Saddam complaints, which have been a staple of his stump speeches since practically the beginning.
Again, even Hillary Clinton's strongest admirers must cringe at the gap between her account of her use of email and the spanking she got from the FBI.
And we haven't even begun to discuss the Clinton foundation, Huma
Abedin simultaneously collecting four separate paychecks from government and non-government entities at the same time, or any of the other questions about her veracity, authenticity, or judgment.
Look, Mitt. I know that it's not going to be easy.
But you've devoted your post-business life to service, and quite frankly, America needs you now.
You would add a touch of dignity to what will be a deeply undignified general election campaign.
We are about to witness a Republican convention at which practically no self-respecting Republican of note will attend, let alone speak.
I know that you took a beating the last couple of times out, and that couldn't have been any fun.
I know that tangling with Donald Trump is about as attractive as, well, tangling with Donald Trump.
Nonetheless.
It's never been so easy for any individual to enter a presidential campaign and win.
The Oval Office is literally yours for the taking.
Here's hoping ... you'll take it.