Prior to taking off alone into the Atlantic, I was a volcano ready to erupt emotionally.
I suppose the Universe (or whatever name you wish to call IT...no judgement from me), realized, "Okay. Frucci is about to blow. We need to toss his ass into something which will allow him to explode safely."
Thus the storm and the day after, hundreds of miles out to sea with only the birds to witness the eruption as it happened.
We all fear judgement. I still battle it. I am in human form just like you. My fear of talking about all of this has prevented me from being completely open about it. I feared what close friends, family...those I love dearly... would say and not say. So I kept this hidden away and buried for years until recently. My fear was rooted in what others may think...just as we all do. I was making crap up in my head...just as we all do. When we do this, those Truths of who we are...those real experiences of our past...will eat us alive from the inside out.
My lesson on the 2016 Hay House World Summit was about facing fear. I walked people through a process of release of fear as I lived it in the present moment with them. This post and video is part of the continuing process of walking my talk.
Some will tell you to forget the past. I have been told the same thing from those who will "should" others based upon what their own personal belief system is. Yet, I know for a fact that the way my human brain works...I cannot delete any memory. Sure, I can push it down and deny it exists, but if I allow myself to do that, I am also deleting magnificent lessons which I can take into the future I am creating right now.
"Before you judge another...first, make sure you are perfect."
~Unknown to me
Why did I throw a fit in that particular moment?
I allowed fear of where I was in life to consume me. I reacted to the memories of the day before and the years of how I got there in the only way I knew how back then...I exploded in a fit of rage. I thank God, I was given the gift of where I was.
If you're thinking about some kind of challenge that you're dealing with right now, you know in your heart that it's going to end. It may not end the way you want it to, but the storm is going to pass, and then you'll be able to focus a little more, and you'll be able to deal with it.
Here's a lesson perhaps:
If you go through something, perhaps don't push it down and forget about it. File it away. Maybe you're thinking about something like that right now? "Oh yeah. Okay, so yeah. I remember that, so here's what I need to tweak. Here's how I can deal with it this time." Deal with it in your present moment. All of our past becomes something to be loved. It is knowledge and the fertilizer for growth. (I think there is a funny in there somewhere.)
Change is a wonderful thing. Transformation is a wonderful thing. Perhaps transformation is not some "ah ha" moment, but is actually a loving process of growth from the combined experiences of our lives over time. Some of those experiences, like the ones I lived through while at sea, can become major triggers for the process to accelerate.
At the end of a transformation process comes what? Transcendence.
How else could we analyze aspects of self unless we review our past experiences? If you attempt to forget your past, which is actually impossible, then you will forget what you are stellar at and what you could work on in order to grow. Why in the hell would anyone want to forget what you're good at or not want to get better at something?
The old-world paradigm was to keep the crap down. Don't let your emotions be on your sleeve. Don't talk about stuff. Push it down.
That doesn't work. Look at all the negativity in the world. Look at certain politicians who want to lead this country. Look at the negative people in your life. It's because they're keeping their crap down and they're not talking about it.
What works? Talking about it. One of my biggest personal lessons right now is the fact that I've released all of this, the fact that I'm talking about it, the fact that I talked about my own humiliation.
Where this world is going I believe, is back to community. We're getting back to helping each other grow. If somebody does help you grow, thank them. Express gratitude. When you give thanks, you receive it more. You receive love more, and that gives you the capability of pushing love more out there in the world. It's a virus...a good one.
I challenge you. Take those steps of talking to people, engaging them in conversation. If you calmly approach a like-minded person that receives you and is able to give you constructive criticism back after you have requested it, you've found somebody. If you engage somebody in conversation and they put you down or they tell you you're an idiot, you don't need to talk to them anymore. It's okay to talk about the weather or whatever, but that's it and time to set some boundaries...at least, that is what I do. Find a community of open minded people and speak with them.
Remember...Discover what your Soul wants and tell your ego to take a hike...at least during the scary stuff.
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Peace to you and may Peace fill all of us with Love.